Famous Mark Twain Quotes

By: Jennifer Flaten

You've probably used some famous Mark Twain quotes without realizing that Mark Twain wrote them. Mark Twain was very acerbic and vocal, and he had many opportunities to craft great quotes during his years traveling the world on the lecture circuit. Twain has a quote for just about any subject, usually sharp but spot on. Many of Twain's quotes still resonate today, more than 100 years after they were first said.

On Education

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

No subject was taboo for Twain. He took on everything from the political discussions of the day to simpler things like family relationships.

On Courage

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.

On Friendship

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

On Success

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

On Aging

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant that I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

On Health

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd rather not.

Even when Twain's comments weren't aimed at a specific subject, they still carried his trademark humor and wisdom:

One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothing can beat teamwork.

Man: a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.

If a man could be crossed with a cat, it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

The trouble ain't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

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