Everyone has seen the awesomely bad music videos of 1980s glam rock bands, but have you taken note of the criteria they each follow to achieve ultimate cliché-ness? From dudes who look like chicks to fast cars and ridiculous special effects, these videos all contain ten components that help them to be the best-or worst-80s music videos possible.
Big hair in the 80s was a requirement, given the fashion of the day. Teasing was the trend and men were not above getting perms. You can't even see Lita Ford's face in her video for "Kiss Me Deadly," and males and females alike in the 80s wanted hair like Jon Bon Jovi.
When it came to pants, the general rule was the tighter the better. Cinderella's ridiculously tight pants in the video for "Gypsy Road" look as if they cut off circulation, and RATT lead singer Warren DeMartini sports ripped booty hugging leggings in the video for "Lay it Down."
A Cool Car or Motorcycle
The video for "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake is filled with nice Jaguars and Bentleys, some with a girl doing splits on the hood others being driven by band members. Either way, the band packed as many cars into this cliché video as humanly possible.
Every member of LA Guns sported both leather and ripped denim in video for "The Ballad of Jane." W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless even sports shredded boots paired with head to toe leather for "Wild Child."
Bad sexual innuendos couldn't get any better than Warrant's "Cherry Pie." With 80s beauty queen Bobbie Brown eating pie and dropping it in her lap, it wasn't hard to imagine what they were really singing about.
Bullet Boys' "Smooth Up in Ya" video brings a whole new meaning to the word gyrate; the movements shown in the video are borderline obscene. Bad boy Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses became famous for the way he swings his skinny leather clad hips in the video for "Welcome to the Jungle."
Van Halen's "Jump" took stage acrobatics to a whole other cliché level. David Lee Roth's high kicks are actually impressive for a man, but they were probably made easier by the head to toe spandex he's wearing.
Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" told a whole cliché story of teenage angst and rebellion against clueless parents. Dio's "Rock and Roll Children" is a mini movie complete with actors and special effects.
A Hot Babe
Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls" was entirely dedicated to hot babes and the places around the world to find them. No one got more girls in the 1980s than Motley Crue and the video proves it. A lot of music videos in the 80's launched the careers of models and actresses, such as Bobbie Brown and
Backlighting, Shadows and Fog
Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," in typical 80s rock band fashion, opens with the guys walking down a hallway with stage lights coming up from behind. Poison's "Nothin' but a Good Time" brings new meaning to fake live performances with tons of backlighting and enough fog to cover San Francisco Bay.
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