Funny Star Trek Quotes

There are so many funny Star Trek quotes, it's challenging to choose the best from all that's available. If you're a Star Trek fan, you probably have a list of your favorite quotes. Perhaps you'll find a few you've overlooked in this list:

Funny Dr. McCoy Quotes
Dr. McCoy set up doctors for decades to come with a series of funny quotes about being a doctor. These lines were accented by Dr. McCoy's tongue-in-cheek humor, cloaked in his sincere desire to do what was best for crew. The following are just a smattering of the many jokes about being a doctor made by McCoy in Star Trek: The Original Series:

"Look, I'm a doctor, not an escalator."
"I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer." This quote was delivered to Captain Kirk who replied, "You're a healer, there's a patient. That's an order."
"I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
"I'm a doctor, not an engineer." This line was delivered to Scotty in a moment of dire need, who replied, "Now, you're an engineer."
"I'm not a magician, Spock. I'm just an old country doctor."
"I'm a doctor, not a coal miner."
"My dear girl, I'm a doctor. When I peek, it is in the line of duty."
"By golly, Jim... I'm beginning to think I can cure a rainy day!"

Dr. McCoy got to deliver several other funny lines as well. After being beamed up to the ship, something he truly hated, McCoy quipped: "I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget."

Funny Captain Kirk Quotes
One of the most popular quotes of Captain Kirk has been used by smart alecks all over the world when teasing friends, classmates or coworkers: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere…"

"You look quite well for a man who's been -utterly destroyed', Mr. Spock." This is a perfect quote for cheering up a distressed friend who's a fan of the show.

Captain Kirk and Spock were always having conversations comparing the cultures of the different planets they explored. Kirk delivers this scorcher when chatting with Spock about Vulcans.

"Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That's the only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim."

Funny Spock Quotes
Dr. McCoy delivers the first line to Spock in a moment of danger:

"Please, Spock, do me a favor and don't say it's 'fascinating'."
"No, but it is... interesting."

When Spock is speaking to Sarek about his wife, Spock is bewildered as to why Sarek would ever choose to marry such a difficult woman. The following conversation ensues:

Spock: "Emotional, isn't she?"
Sarek: "She has always been so."
Spock: "Indeed. Why did you marry her?"
Sarek: "It seemed the logical thing to do at the time."

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