You can handle a little bit of a mess, but, when the food in the fridge starts to grow moldy, the dishes pile up in the sink and some weird dude named "Worm" is sleeping on your couch every night, you and your roommate need to talk. Depending on the situation, you may need to part ways sooner rather than later. This guide tackles each offense strike-by-strike, progressing until you take the ultimate step of kicking out the bad roommate.
Strike One
Ask nicely in person. Whenever you ask your roommate for something, do it in person. Otherwise, the roommate can pretend she didn't get your note, or she may claim that you aren't strong enough to talk to her one-on-one.
Consider what you can handle. During this time, take a look at your own standards of neatness. Have you made the effort to compromise? Just how serious is the roommate's behavior? A dish left in the sink or forgetting a phone message is minor compared to rocking out on the electric guitar every night and interrupting your sleep. Other major offenses include failing to pay bills and rent or allowing illegal activity on the premises.
Give it two weeks, with one exception. Don't shadow your roommate to make sure she does the dishes. You are not her parent, and, if she starts thinking of you as an authority figure, she will be tempted to rebel.
Regarding financial matters, however, you cannot afford to wait. You don't want a mark on your credit because your roommate was too lazy to pay bills. Make clear that there is a deadline and explain why it is important to you. Keep records of all expenses so your roommate isn't tempted to haggle with you.
Strike Two
Call a house or face-to-face meeting. If your housemates are all fed up, then you need to bring everyone to the table, and each housemate must be willing to back you up on this. Once the bad roommate sees how her behavior is affecting everyone, she may change her ways, whether you get along with her or not. For situations in which it is just the two of you, call a meeting. Mention that you gave her plenty of time, but she still hasn't changed her behavior.
Make a deal. Ask if there are any points on which you can negotiate, such as having "Worm" over only on the weekends or playing guitar only until midnight. Or is there something you need to change? Once she sees that you are trying to compromise and aren't out to get her, the roommate will probably say she'll try to play by the rules. Ask her to put it in writing. Even if you don't have a formal contract, she will have to think about whether or not she really can pay her share of the phone bill each month.
Strike Three
Take action. If your roommate hasn't been paying the rent and her name is on the lease, you can take her to small-claims court. Unfortunately, you cannot evict her. Only the landlord can. If the situation is serious and if anything your roommate is doing is illegal, you can and you should notify the landlord. When she realizes you are serious, she might decide it is time to get her own studio, where she can be as sloppy as she likes.
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