It's challenging to determine how to deal with grief, especially if you have experienced an overwhelming loss, such as the loss of a child or the loss of a loved one to suicide. One minute you may feel fine, the next minute you may feel devastated to the point of wanting to lash out. You may feel overwhelmed by your emotions and wonder if you'll ever feel normal again. It's important to recognize the specific challenges in dealing with specific types of grief so you can get the grief support you need.
Dealing With the Loss of a Child
The loss of a child is perhaps the greatest loss possible. As a parent, you will feel as though you were responsible, even if the death was not your fault. If the death was actually somehow due to your actions, the grief and guilt can rocket off the charts. You will no doubt feel that it is unnatural for a child to die before the parents and you will initially feel like a joyful life will never be possible without your child in the world.
Most parents dealing with the loss of child need professional grief counseling. You may want to join a support group and participate in online forums so you can connect with other parents who are going through the same experience. The death of a child is especially hard on marriages because it is tempting for each partner to place blame on the other. This is a time to connect with your spouse as openly as you can, allowing each other to grieve openly. You both need comfort, forgiveness, understanding and love. By supporting one another, you can make it through the grieving process together.
Dealing With Grief Over a Suicide
Grief over a suicide is unique in that it is often tainted with shame, guilt and remorse. It is normal to think you should have seen the signals or gotten more involved or somehow been able to prevent the death. If the person had mentioned being depressed or wanting to commit suicide and you wrote these interactions off as not serious, you may feel crushing guilt. If you are the parent or significant other of someone who has taken his or her own life, you may feel shame or fear of what others think of you.
It's important to realize that you are not the cause of the death. No one can stop another person from taking his or her life. Support groups or individual therapy may help you to process this so you can work through the underlying pain of this loss.
Some Practical Tips For Self Care
After a loss of this magnitude, you will need to take extra good care of yourself as you heal emotionally. You will need to eat well, sleep as much as you can and surround yourself with supportive people who understand where you are at and respect your needs. Reduce your work and home responsibilities, but don't allow yourself to isolate completely or stop doing everything; some activity is good for you, purposeless as it may seem right now. Educate yourself on the grieving process and be patient with yourself as you work through your feelings. You will not feel this way forever, even if it feels that way today. Get through today, lean on your friends and family and remind yourself that the pain will not be this intense forever.
 | Do you need to understand the stages of grieving? Trying to make sense of your experience with loss? Hopefully this will help. |
 | If you need help coping with grief and loss, these tips for processing your loss may be helpful. |
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Find articles about grief, including grief and loss, how to deal with grief and stages of grieving. |
