Tips for Building Self Esteem

If you're looking for techniques to help you with building self esteem, you'll find a plethora of opportunities right around you. Self esteem is built from self image-how you view yourself-and this image is one you can build or tear down each day, depending on your thoughts about yourself. Learning to turn those negative thoughts into positive ones will create better self esteem. Try these simple tips for building self esteem as you go through your day, and see if you don't find yourself feeling more positive and confident.

Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
A common thought pattern in those with low self esteem is to exaggerate failure in your mind. Let's say you are at a party, and you accidentally say something that is awkward or out of line. As you see a negative expression flash over another person's face, you may immediately assault yourself with negative thoughts.  You may think something like: "I'm so stupid," "Now he hates me," or "He thinks I'm such an idiot."

When faced with such an experience, it can help if you dissect the situation and diffuse the negative feelings of shame or self-hatred you may be feeling. Try writing down the embarrassing or inappropriate phrase you said and then try to remember all the rest of the things you said that evening. You said more than that one sentence, right? Write down a list of positive things you did or said in the encounter. Were you dressed nicely? Write that down. Did you greet that person warmly? Say something witty at some point? Were you a good listener? Help yourself see that the positive things you said and did far outweigh the one negative thing you are focused on.

List your strengths
We all have weaknesses; some of us just focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths, which results in low self esteem. Take the time to list out all of your strengths. Start with the obvious, such as "I am a good friend" or "I have an excellent job" and work your way down to the tiny assets. Remember that no one is going to see this list but you, so don't be modest. Record everything you like about yourself. Include things like, "I am good with money," "My nose is great" or "I am discriminating." The next time you feel disappointed in yourself, take out the list and read through it again for support.

Collect evidence that you are worthy of praise
It helps to keep a record of things you've done that make you feel proud. Start a collection, maybe in a box or a drawer, of things that remind you of your positive attributes. Collect pay stubs, report cards, diplomas, personal cards of praise, reviews from work and even printouts of positive emails or memos. Be on the lookout for things to collect.  This will help you be on the lookout for positive thoughts about yourself, which will in turn help you build better self esteem.