Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Here are some funny birthday quotes that will get your message across while making the recipient smile or laugh.

  • For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
  • Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
  • Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
  • A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
  • Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  • People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
  • When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
  • Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional"
  • Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
  • Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.
  • Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
  • A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
  • As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
  • Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
  • You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  • You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them.
  • In dog years, I'm dead.
  • About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
  • Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
  • Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
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