Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Here are some funny birthday quotes that will get your message across while making the recipient smile or laugh.

• For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
• Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
• Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
• Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
• A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
• Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
• I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
• People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
• When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
• Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional"
• Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
• Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.
• Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
• A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for.
• The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
• As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
• You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
• You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them.
• In dog years, I'm dead.
• About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
• Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
• Age is a number and mine is unlisted.