Thank You Note Wording Etiquette

The etiquette for thank-you note wording itself is quite simple. As long as you've got a heartfelt thank you in your message, and as long as you've written more than "thank you" and your name on the note, you're on the right track. If that seems vague, there's a reason why: how you write a thank-you note depends on who's receiving it and what they've done.

What's the Relationship?
Writing a thank-you note begins by knowing your relationship with the recipient. It also boils down to how well you know the person you are thanking. If it's a close friend or family member, it's acceptable to be a little silly or even completely zany. It's also always okay to be sentimental and to include personal information.

If the thank-you card is for the boss or an acquaintance, limit personal information and sentimental musings. Write the thank-you note with sincerity, but stick to the facts. The boss doesn't need to know you are overwhelmed or that his allowing you to leave early twice last week gave you time to eat dinner and feed your cats before you had to punch in at your second job.

Too much information is the cardinal sin of thank you cards. Too much personal information is not only poor manners on your part, but it will also weigh down your relationship with the recipient. Too much sentimentality or gushing can do the same thing. Be thankful, but don't fall apart in the process.

Tips for Writing Thank-You Notes

• When putting thank-you note wording on paper, keep in mind these things: appreciation, sincerity, length, the reason for the thank you and whether the event calls for silliness or seriousness.
• If you are writing a thank-you card for a gift you received, it's always nice to explain what you will use the gift for or where you have placed the gift in your home.
• If you are writing a thank-you card for a hostess gift, remind the giver that she is welcome in your home whenever it's convenient. The wording might read like this: "Thank you for the monogrammed entry rug. It was exactly what our home was missing! Stop by the next time you're in town and see how lovely it looks in the entry."
• Write from the heart, but don't overdo it, even if the card is going to your mother. A thank-you note is not the place to burden others with information. Don't explain in detail what prompted the thank-you note; just say thank you and then list what the person did to make you thankful enough to send a card. A thank-you note should stand on its own. For example, "Mom, you know me better than I know myself. Thank you so much for the gift. I will treasure it, just as I treasure you."
• Even if you don't like a gift, you should send a thank-you note. Word it simply, such as, "Thank you for the gift. It was very nice of you to think of me."
• If the thank-you note is going to an acquaintance or to the boss, keep it short and to the point. Be thankful, but don't be mushy. An example might be, "Thank you for the concert tickets-you are the best boss ever!"
• Simplicity and honesty are always the best policy. For instance, "You always think of everything-thank you!"
• Whether you are sending out a hundred thank-you cards or just one, make sure you personalize each card. Thank-you cards that are passed out during an event do not have the same heartfelt appreciation woven into them as cards sent after an event. When someone gives you a gift, you should open the gift. Later that night or the next day is a better time to figure out how the wording in your thank-you card should read. Putting some thought into a thank-you is the best way to make sure what you do say comes straight from the heart.
• If you are hosting a baby or bridal shower, it's acceptable to pass around envelopes so guests can add their mailing addresses. It's not a good idea to hand out thank-you cards at the event.