Great Tips for Writing Thank You Notes

By: Jennifer Maughan

It's easy to learn about the etiquette of writing thank you notes to express your gratitude to someone. Whether you are thanking someone for a wedding present or for doing you a great service, a thank you note is sure to make the giver feel appreciated and shows what a gracious recipient you are.

Basic Etiquette of Thank You Notes
The etiquette of thank you notes can be a little confusing. Thank you notes should be sent for a variety of situations, including birthday gifts, wedding gifts, bridal or baby shower gifts, get well soon gifts or flowers, messages of congratulations or sympathy and when you've been a guest in someone's home.

Thank you notes should be sent out as soon as possible. The general guideline says to send out most thank you cards within a week of receiving the gift or message. Thank you notes for wedding gifts can be sent out up to three months later due to the sheer volume of gifts for the bride and groom. For recipients who are in the hospital, common sense dictates that thank you notes should be sent when the ill person is sufficiently recovered.

Selecting Stationery
With so many designs for thank you cards and matching envelopes, you are sure to find a style that fits your personality. It doesn't matter if the thank you notes are casual or formal, but make sure they come with plenty of space to write. Many come with a pre-printed "Thank You" as part of the design.

Any card and stationery section of a general retail store or a stationery store will have a large supply of thank you note cards. You can even find attractive stationery at discount stores and bargain basement outlets. Remember that etiquette for thank you notes requires that they be handwritten, so use a blue or black pen that can be easily read.

Thank You Notes for Gifts
You should send a written thank you note for any gift that you or your child receives that is not opened in front of the giver, be it birthday, wedding or get well soon gift. Even if you've said thanks verbally, it's always nice to follow up with a written thank you note.

You should send the note as soon as possible after receiving it, but many people just don't know what to say in a thank you card. Here are some tips to get you started:

  • Personalize the message. While a sentence or two of thanks is required, be sure to make the message personal. Try using the gift itself in the saying, such as "I really appreciate that picture frame and I can't wait to fill it with memories," or "How did you know that the art set would be my daughter's favorite gift?"
  • Be gracious about the gift, no matter what. Even if you think the earrings you received are awful, never reveal your true feelings. It's enough to thank the giver for thinking of you, such as, "I appreciate all the time and effort you put into thinking of a gift for me."
  • There's no need to write a novel. Keep it to three simple sentences expressing your gratitude, mentioning the gift in a personal way and final sentence again expressing thanks.

Notes for Non-Gifts
There are plenty of situations where you should send a thank you note even though you didn't receive a gift. Think of it as receiving the gift of a thoughtful act. One situation that might require sending a thank you card would be to the hostess of a party thrown in your honor, like a baby shower or bridal shower. Other instances that require a thank you note would be after you've stayed as a houseguest, for help in moving or for business purposes, such as when you've attended a party hosted by your boss.

In these cases, it's appropriate to send the thank you note expressing your sincere gratitude for the action or event. Mention how you appreciate the time and effort the gesture required and the hours of preparation it took.

Additional Etiquette Tips
The most important part of a thank you note is to convey your feelings of appreciation in the most appropriate way possible. A sincere handwritten thank you note delivered soon after a gift or event is the right thing to do when someone has taken considerable time and effort on your behalf. Learning the etiquette for thank you notes enables you to practice this form of expression for the maximum impact.

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