Funny Irish Toasts

Funny Irish toasts are fun to know and share at a festive gathering. There are plenty of memorable and funny rhymes and wishes to choose from when looking for a great Irish toast. What makes Irish toasts funny is usually an element of bawdy humor, or a reference to being drunk, that is acceptable to use as a toast at celebrations where the drinks are flowing. Choose a toast or two to take to your next party, and enjoy everyone's laughter as they toast along with you. Slainte!

I drink to your health when I'm with you,
I drink to your health when I'm alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I'm starting to worry about my own!

But the greatest love, above all loves,
Even greater than that of a mother,
Is the tender, passionate, undying love
Of one beer drunken slob for another.

Here's to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear.
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
But a darn sight more sincere!

Here's to our wives and girlfriends…
May they never meet!

As you ramble through life, whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole.

Best while you have it, use your breath.
There is no drinking after death.

May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
But never catch up.

May you die in bed at 95 years,
Shot by a jealous wife!

May you have the health of a salmon:
A strong heart and a wet mouth!

May your bank account always be bigger than your troubles.

A toast to your coffin.
May it be made of 100 year-old oak,
And may we plant the tree together, tomorrow.

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