You might associate a proper table setting with snobbery, but it's never wrong to know which fork is the salad fork. What's wrong is making a big stink about it. While harrumphing that someone at your table is using the wrong fork is bad manners, it's actually excellent manners to set a table with the right utensils in the right places.
A formal party or a holiday gathering also calls for a little consistency in setting a table. You don't have to have a salad fork, especially if you're not having salad, but knowing where everything goes can improve the look of your place setting.
Guests Come First
As you think about setting a table, ask what your guests will be expecting when they arrive. Is this a highbrow affair or a barbecue? Do you really need a dessert spoon? A dinner party with multiple elaborate courses might call for one, but it depends on the dessert you serve. Consider what will make your guests comfortable, what sets the tone for the meal and which utensils are best for eating which course.
The Basics
Setting a table isn't just about utensils. First think about how much room your guests will have when they sit down to eat. When setting out chairs, space them apart enough so that your guests can move their elbows comfortably. Ask yourself if a guest will have enough room to cut a piece of food without elbowing a tablemate.
Setting a table isn't just about the plates and utensils. Also consider what goes underneath them. Choose a placemat or a tablecloth to cover the table. This will protect your table and make cleanup easier, especially if you can grab a tablecloth and shake out the crumbs instead of wiping down a table.
The more formal the affair, the more likely it is that you will need to prepare your table setting in advance. On a hectic day like Thanksgiving, setting the table the day before could mean the difference between a low-stress day and a total nervous breakdown. You should count your guests and then count your dishes, utensils, glasses and napkins to make sure you have enough. Keep a few spares of everything on hand in case someone drops an item while eating and needs a quick replacement.
In setting the table, the main principle is for the guests to move from the outside in as the courses progress. Soup and salad come first, so the soup spoon and the salad fork are on the outer edges of the table setting. The main course requires the bigger fork and knife, so they will be closer to the main plate.
Utensil by Utensil
Let's move from the center of the table setting outward.
The main plate. Place the plate in the center, not too close to the edge of the table.
The soup bowl. On top of the main plate.
The dinner fork. The dinner fork is for the main course and should be placed to the left of the main plate.
The salad fork. The smaller salad fork should be placed to the left of the dinner fork.
The salad plate. Set the salad plate in a space slightly above and to the left of the forks. Depending on how much room you have, you can set it to the left of the forks.
The bread plate. The bread plate should be placed to the right of the salad plate.
The butter knife. Place the butter knife, which is smaller and less sharp than a regular knife, on top of the bread plate.
The knife. Place the knife to the right of the plate with the cutting edge of the knife toward the main plate.
The dessert spoon. The dessert spoon goes to the right of the knife or above the main plate. If it goes above the main plate, its handle should point to the right.
The dessert fork. The same rule applies to the dessert fork as it does to the dessert spoon. The dessert fork, since it is used last, should be closest to the plate with the dinner fork and the salad fork to the right. If it goes above the main plate, its handle should point to the left, and it should go below the dessert spoon.
The soup spoon. Place the soup spoon to the right of the dessert spoon, or to the right of the knife if the dessert spoon is above the main plate. If the dessert spoon is to the right of the knife, you may be tempted to move the dessert spoon and place the soup spoon by the knife since the dessert spoon is smaller. However, the soup spoon will be used before the dessert spoon, so it should stay on the far right.
The water glass. Set the glass in a space above the knife.
The wine glass. The wine glass goes to the right of the water glass.
Coffee cups and saucers. Your table is probably growing crowded by this point. At times, it is best to bring coffee cups and saucers to the table when it is time to serve coffee to guests. When you set them down, they should go to the right of the wine glass.
The napkin. Now you're ready to go wild. The napkin can go on top of the plate and soup bowl, or it can go to the left of the fork.
You probably won't need each of these items. Remember that your table setting should be appropriate for the meal, and keeping it simple is the easiest way to make a party go more smoothly for you and your guests.
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