During Thanksgiving celebrations, many people have unrealistic expectations of a large family meal in which all relatives get along. That's setting yourself up for failure if your family is normal. How can you avoid arguments, crying and old resentments while enjoying the huge meal you just slaved over? Here are some suggestions:
Be Relaxed: A laid-back host means laid-back guests, so don't stress yourself out with cleaning every nook and cranny and cooking everything yourself from scratch. Not everyone can be Martha Stewart. Host Thanksgiving as a potluck, and buy some pre-made items from the grocery. Put your energy into the main dishes, like the turkey, instead of fretting over the cranberry sauce.
Use Place Cards Wisely: You know the people coming, and you know who doesn't get along. Make place cards, and sit people who clash, like Sensitive Sister-in-Law Sandy and Blunt Cousin Barry, away from each other. Sit people who get along well together. Put peacekeeper personalities near each anyone who tends to stir up trouble.
Hire a Babysitter: Although some family members may beg to differ, having children running around underfoot at Thanksgiving isn't cute, and it's dangerous in a kitchen. Some of your relatives may not be into kids in the first place. You can cut parents a break by setting up a kids' table with small toys, crayons and coloring books. Hire a teen relative or local babysitter to sit with the little ones, or parents can be stationed at that table if they choose.
Avoid Sticky Subjects: You know the subject that will start a fight: politics. If anyone wants to talk about an election, or any other controversial subject, don't be afraid to shift the conversation to the food or the latest news about the garden. You may want to talk to some relatives beforehand and suggest that some topics are off-limits.
Prepare for Post-Meal Activities: Have some fun family-style games available for people to play with after the Thanksgiving meal. Suggest that some people go for a walk or play touch football outside. Think of activities that will keep people busy enough to avoid boredom. Boredom breeds trouble. Games such as Apples to Apples, Balderdash, Pictionary, Password and Cranium are good for any number of players of a diverse age group.
Show the Travelers Some Tender Loving Care: Thanksgiving travel is exhausting, and you can't blame a guest for being a little tense or crabby after a long flight or hours at the airport. Even if a relative is staying at a hotel, clean up your guest room and make up the bed so travelers can take naps. This room might come in handy for elderly relatives who are getting tired as well.
Invite New Faces: Ask friends if they'd like to come to the gathering. Family members who are comfortable letting their dark sides air out in front of family might think twice before speaking in front of a stranger in their midst.
Try to see the best in people, relax and have a Happy Thanksgiving.
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