Identity Development in Adopted Children
To understand the challenges of identity development in adopted children, it helps to know what makes an identity. When most people refer to their identity, they are making reference to their aggregate sense of themselves. We understand identity to be composed of many aspects including, but certainly not limited to, realities of birth. That encompasses race, gender, socioeconomic conditions of one's early years, experience with religion as well as the ever-increasing plethora of biogenetic information about ourselves and others. Then there are one's life experiences and choices. This complex collection of information, processed through the mind of the person considering who he is and the meaning this has for him, are the core attributes of what we generally call identity.
For some, this equation would seem to be pretty straightforward. For a person who knows her ancestry, current family and circumstances, identity is less of a mystery. As the eldest son of England's Queen Elizabeth and her husband, Prince Phillip, Prince Charles has known from an early age who he is. He is prince and heir to the throne of England. Being born into an identity so predetermined and fixed can be an element of security in one's life. It also can be a contributor to a feeling of being trapped in a role that one didn't choose but is somehow predestined to fulfill.
Challenges for Adopted Children
For a child who has been adopted and raised in a different set of circumstances from those to which he was born, the issue is far more complex. Adopted children may not know (or be told) much about their birth parents. The part of identity formation that has its roots in family history, tradition and genetics remains unknown. There is a gap in the otherwise understandable formula that leads to the construction of one's own identity. It is like removing a known from an equation and substituting an X.
Because children cannot, as a rule, tolerate this lack of knowledge, they fill gaps in their knowledge with things they infer, wish were the case or simply fabricate. For many adopted children, this gap in real information gets filled in this way. That unknown information becomes a construction of the child's wishes, imagination and fears.
The issue of identity development in children adopted from different countries and cultures is even more profound. The consequence can be an identity more defined by a child's awareness of what she is not than by the things that she knows that she is. This is referred to as a "reactive identity disorder." Defining one's self in terms of what one is not (how a child is not like his parents, for example) is an issue. This doesn't mean that interracial adoptions are doomed to fail. Variables include how the obvious differences are discussed and how people the child knows react to them, especially those who matter most to the child. This includes parents and close friends.
Adoption is Part of Identity
It is functionally impossible for adoption to not be a component in the identity of the child. Supported by facts or not, many adopted children have to live with the idea that for some reason their birth parents were unable to care for them. There are many versions of this story; very few of them are good.
Adopted Children Articles, Videos & HowTos
There are many who have chosen to adopt a child to provide a home to a child and more love to their lives
The benifits to both adoptive parents and their children when choosing an open adoption
A newly adopted child can feel tense in a new situation, but a wise adoptive parent can smooth things over quickly.
Sooner or later, adopted children need to know the truth. Find out when and how to tell their story of adoption.
Unfortunately, it can sometimes be difficult to piece together a full personal medical history for an adopted child. This is particularly true if your child was adopted from another country.



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