Like all children, adopted children need nurturing, love, guidance and discipline. While most adoptive parents are ready and willing to provide these essentials, the mere thought of including the child's birth parents in the process can lead to insecurity and concern. Questions may arise, such as "Will my adopted child's birth parents completely take over" and "Will I not be viewed as the parent?"

Despite such worries, many adoptive parents participate in open adoptions anyway, committed to helping their children develop socially and emotionally under the best possible circumstances. Nevertheless, when an adoption brings multiple families into the equation, complex issues such as discipline are likely to come up at some point. Therefore, it is better to anticipate challenges and take proactive measures to minimize their negative impact rather than take a wait-and-see approach.

Benefits of Open Adoptions
Open adoptions first gained popularity in the 1970s and have become fairly commonplace ever since, according to The Washington Post Magazine. An open adoption is one that gives full parental rights to the adoptive parents but still makes it possible for the birth parents to have some form of involvement in the adopted child's life. In such instances, the goal is generally a child-centered form of collaboration that fosters communication between both sets of parents.

Research has shown that open adoptions can be beneficial to adoptive parents, birth parents and adopted children, according to the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center. Not only do they promote communication and information sharing that can be of great value, but also they can help reduce or alleviate feelings of rejection by the adopted child. Also, research reveals that when birth mothers in particular are able to have access to and communicate with the adoptive family, they tend to experience less grief over the adoption and feel better about their role in the adopted child's life, according to a study by the University of Texas, Austin.

Who's in Charge?
Even when adoptive parents and birth parents partake in open adoption with the best of intentions, the question of who's really in charge may be raised, especially with discipline issues. The Adoption Information Center of Illinois offers this advice:

"While all parents feel insecure in the parenting abilities to some extent, adoptive parents must give themselves the right to parent their adopted children. They should not undermine their parenting by feeling that, since they did not give birth to a child, they really shouldn't act like a parent to an adopted child. The law gives adopted parents all the rights and responsibilities of the birth parents."

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