When a couple chooses to adopt, they can visit an adoption agency with little worry about being turned down for who they are. That is not the case for gays and lesbians. Gay and lesbian adoption rights are impacted by the state in which the adoption is desired, and by a long history of homophobic beliefs.

Arkansas, Nebraska, Florida, Michigan, Mississippi and Utah all prohibit such adoptions. However, there can be discrimination even in those states that allow gay adoption. In fact, the state of North Dakota, for example, allows adoption officials to reject applicants based on moral or religious reasons. Such a rule could lead to a gay or lesbian couple experiencing discrimination.

There is prejudices that exist in adoption: children are better off with a mother and a father, that gay men are not fit parents or that children who grow up in a gay household will become gay. All of these unfortunate prejudices translate to discrimination when it comes to gay and lesbian adoptions, whether the adoptions are allowed in a particular state or not.

Therefore, it's important that gays and lesbians who live in states where it is legal for them to adopt look for an adoption agency that is gay and lesbian friendly.

Here are a few tips:

1. Word of mouth from people in similar situations is a good way to get information. However, in the 21st century, your search should begin online if you are not fortunate enough to get information from family, friends or associates. Begin your search by typing in the key words "gay lesbian adoption agency." Your search will result in a variety of links. Go with adoption Web sites that look professional.
2. Read all of the information that the Web sites provide. You need to arm yourself with a set of questions to ask the agencies that you visit. Use that information to help develop your questions. Then call the agencies and make appointments to visit. It is vital that you visit agencies and get a feel for the staffs before you begin to narrow your focus.
3. Talk to the staff at each agency. Chances are they will treat you with the respect that you deserve. However, if you are mistreated at one agency, move on to the next. Adoption is important and you should never settle for anything less than kindness and professionalism.
4. If an agency requires you to pay all the fees up front, you should find another agency. There should be a fee schedule. That said, couples or individuals who are interested in adoption are typically required to pay fees that include the expenses that the pregnant women incur as part of the adoption process.
5. Take advantage of any workshop or training that is available. Make the time. Adoption is not something that can be rushed. Information gathering is vital. In fact, there may be a charge for a workshop and it may be mandatory for you to attend. This is not a bad thing. However, workshop attendance should not obligate you to work with the agency.

Stay away from gay and lesbian adoptions agencies that promise you the moon. Pay attention to the type of people who are running the agency. Are they licensed social workers? Do they have experience in adoption? How many children have they placed? What are their professional affiliations? Did you check them out with the Better Business Bureau?

Gay and lesbian adoption rights are not perfect. However, with the right attitude and determination, you can adopt a beautiful baby.