Adopting a child is an exciting and challenging process for any family. Gay and lesbian adoption presents its own unique challenges, whether from geographic, legal, even societal standards.

First, it is key to know that gay and lesbian couples are not eligible to adopt in all jurisdictions; this includes some American and international adoption. Additionally, not all adoption agencies are supportive of gays and lesbians adopting. Those that are will not all necessarily have the expertise to help you navigate the process.

So how do you find the adoption agency that's best suited to your needs?

Explore your options
There are three types of adoption that may be available to you as a gay or lesbian couple: public agency adoption, independent adoption and international adoption. Which type of adoption will work best for you depends on many issues, including the attitude towards gay and lesbian families in your area, the law on gay and lesbian parents in your jurisdiction and your own feelings about adopting a child from a culture or background different from your own.

In most cases, the only way for both you and your partner to become the legal parents of an adopted child is for one partner to undertake the initial adoption. After one partner successfully adopts the child, the other can adopt in what is termed a second parent adoption. Second parent adoptions are not legal in all jurisdictions, so you'll want to work with an agency or legal professional who is experienced in this particular aspect of the law.

Finding the right agency
Working with an agency or adoption strategy that is not only gay and lesbian tolerant, but gay and lesbian positive, is particularly important for potential parents who are seeking to adopt younger children who are not living with disabilities.

Unwritten adoption agency hierarchy preferences do exist, and there is a valid perception within the gay community that gay and lesbian couples are more often offered children who are difficult to place. If you don't feel like a special needs child is the right fit for your family, it's important that you work with an agency that is supportive of you in this.

Start the agency selection process
Many organizations dedicated to gay and lesbian rights have resource lists for gay and lesbian couples looking to adopt. These lists include information on state and international laws, organizations that support gay and lesbian adoption and families and adoption agencies that are experienced and positive when it comes to working with gay and lesbian couples. One of the most comprehensive lists of this type can be found at the Web site for the Human Rights Campaign.

Questions you should ask a prospective agency
When seeking an adoption agency, you want more than just reassurances. You want a track record of experience, written policies in place that support gay and lesbian couples and an understanding of gay and lesbian culture and concerns.

Ask to see the adoption agency's non-discrimination policy. Make sure the policy explicitly bans discrimination against both clients and staff on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Even if an agency says it does not discriminate in this way, putting it on paper represents a commitment that says it takes your concerns as a gay or lesbian couple seriously.

Ask to see all forms the agency itself creates. Does it use inclusive language such as "partner" and "parent" as opposed to words such as "spouse," and gendered terms such as "mother" and "father"? Also find out whether new staff receive training and training materials that are inclusive of gay and lesbian adoption scenarios.

Check to see if the agency's Web site, print brochures and other materials openly address its commitment to working with gay and lesbian families. This should not just be material specifically directed at gay and lesbian couples, but rather material for all potential clients.

Take your time
Adopting a child is a long process that begins a life-long commitment. If you're considering adoption, you already know this. But it's important to remember that your work with an adoption agency also will be a long process, and it's worth taking the time to make sure your agency selection makes you comfortable.