
A child learns to have a positive body image through love and praise from a supportive family. She is more likely to have a good body image if her parents have confirmed that she is worthy and that they are proud of her decisions. The best way for parents to provide this confirmation is to teach her healthy habits and to praise her when she succeeds, as well as help her get back on track when she goes astray.
The Parent's Role
Parents should be supportive and encouraging to their child, especially when it comes to weight issues. A teen who is told by her parents that she has to watch what she eats will become increasingly concerned about her body image because she is now being bombarded by what she sees as criticism from her parents. Many parents fall into this trap, simply because they are trying to help their teenager.
When weight or a part of the body-such as a child's nose-is an issue to the child, a parent's first responsibility is to make sure their love shines through. The second responsibility is to try to see through their child's eyes and recognize her pain. Their third step should be to make their child comfortable and able to accept her own imperfections by realizing that no one is perfect and that weight and size are not permanent issues.
If your teen asks for help, steer her in the right direction by setting up an appointment with your physician who can better explain the food pyramid and how it works. Let the child take the initiative, and then let the physician be the bad guy. Your goal should be as the supporter and encourager only. When parents take on the role of coach or nutritionist, they become the bad guy.
Helping Teenagers Make Good Choices
A healthy body image goes much deeper than the surface. If a teen doesn't feel beautiful on the inside, many times she won't feel beautiful on the outside. So when your teenage daughter makes a bad choice, it is your job as the parent to help her understand why her choice was not the best one and also help her figure out which choice would have been better.
Make her feel good about the choices she makes. Reinforcement, support or constructive criticism should always be positive. When explaining to your adolescent that a choice she made is not a good one, it's equally important to remember to pile on the praise for a different choice she made that was good.
When a teenager does not receive reassurance and support, she often turns her emotions inside-out. Before her parents know it, she has manifested their lack of support into some other form of negativity toward herself. Body image often gets woven into the middle of regular teen issues. If she believes she is unloved, unsuitable as a dating partner or unattractive, those beliefs manifest themselves into thoughts of "I'm ugly" or "I'm fat." Often, this type of thinking can lead to behaviors that are both emotionally and physically damaging.
Balance Is The Key
When it comes to a healthy body image, balance really is the key. It's easy for a teenager to blame everything that goes wrong on herself. Body image is the first line of attack. If you encourage your child by reinforcing and rewarding for good behavior and good choices, while at the same time keeping the channels open when you discourage bad choices, your child will find balance easier. This same balance must be found within your teenager's peer groups and siblings. When a teen has trouble finding this balance in any area of her life, a poor body image can emerge.
Encourage Sibling Support
One way to encourage sibling support is to bind the family through sports or other events. If one child is involved in a sport, the other children in the family should be encouraged to be supportive of her. Attend sporting events as a family. If one sibling sees other siblings trying their best, she will feel pride in their successes, as well.
When siblings bond together in a family setting, the bond is generally strong outside the family setting, as well. Set aside a time for the family to discuss the event-even if it's just in the car on the ride home-and allow encouragement to flow from one child to the other. Make it a family rule that negative thoughts should not be voiced.
When supportive reinforcement is given on a regular basis, teenagers learn from their mistakes, as well as from the mistakes of others. Parents should help their child understand that she can learn from her mistakes. One mistake does not mean that her parents won't love her anymore, and she shouldn't internalize that criticism in the form of an unhealthy body image.
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