What to Do If Your Teen Is the Victim of Physical Bullying

Physical bullying is one of the most psychologically damaging forms of abuse that can happen to a teen. This is because it is often repeated and becomes a source of long-lasting damage to the teen's self esteem. An adult with self-esteem damage from bullying may have trouble keeping a job, maintaining friendships or relationships. He may also become abusive to compensate for feelings of powerlessness. No parent wants their teen to undergo this sort of adulthood. Parents need to step in and help their teen recover from physical bullying.

What Is Physical Bullying?
Physical bullying includes property damage, shoving, kicking, hitting, punching, slapping and exerting undue force upon another. If your teen has been victimized by a bully, she may be afraid to tell you, although her injuries and behavior changes may be significant enough to raise red flags. Bruises, scrapes, withdrawn behavior, depression and anxiety are some of the warning signs that your teen has been the victim of bullying at school.

Bullying Advice for Parents
Start by talking with your teen. The best advice is to start with communication and empathy. Teens need to have their parents' support. They need to know that the bullying is undeserved and that they won't look weak in your eyes. Do not tell your teen to fight back or stop acting like a wimp. Don't tell your teen to ask the bully to stop. These are ineffective and will make the situation worse, because your teen will think you don't understand and that you blame him for his troubles.

• Be a role model of appropriate behavior. How do you handle anger? Do not be aggressive in front of your kids, as children learn most from a parents' behavior.
• Take action. Call the school, not the bully, and not the bully's parents. Contacting the school should be the first step in bullying prevention. Have your facts in place, and don't take no for an answer. Your teen should not have to be at a meeting with the bully to mediate, as this is intimidating and will increase the teen's anxiety level. Insist that the school take proper action. Tell them you want to know what is being done so that your teen can feel safe at school.
• If bullying has happened outside of school, call the police. Teens are old enough to take responsibility for their behavior, and having the police get involved will send a message to the teen and his parents that this cannot continue. If you need a restraining order, get one. Your teen's safety and well-being are the primary concern.
• Take it seriously. Allowing bullying to continue can have life-threatening consequences. Bullied teens are at great risk for homicidal and suicidal thoughts, depression and drug or alcohol abuse. Be an advocate for your teen's safety, physical and emotional health.