You don't have to tell your teen to avoid all peer pressure, but you should realize that avoiding the negative effects of peer pressure takes some skill training and strong parental guidance.
Teach Kids to Think for Themselves
One of the best things that parents and teachers can do is instill self-confidence in their children. Self-confidence comes from being able to make a choice based on what you know is right and remain assertive in the face of peer adversity. This is not easy. It's not just about teaching the kids what is right and not right but also about teaching them how to consider consequences and weigh their decisions.
How to Help Kids Make and Stand Up for Good Choices
Role-play scenarios with the teens. Give them ethical dilemmas to practice making a decision and choosing the words to use to refuse a peer's encouragement to do something harmful. Teach them the ways to say no that will make their peers respect them rather than ostracize them. If they have the tools, they will be more likely to use them.
Teach Forethought
Teens are notoriously impulsive. Keep reminding them to think ahead before making a decision. What could be the long-term effects of this choice? Consequences always follow decisions, so teach them to think through possible results of their decisions when making them. This again takes practice and parental guidance. Lines of communication must be kept open with the teens so they will be receptive to this message. Try to be as non-judgmental as possible so your kids will be willing to talk to you. Being non-judgmental doesn't mean not giving consequences when needed, but it does mean being able to listen without losing your temper or being critical. Give your teen examples of using forethought. Tell them to weigh their decisions against these questions:
If Bad Choices Have Been Made
If the teen has given in to peer pressure, joined up with a crowd that makes poor decisions and gotten into trouble as a result, what should you do? Take a deep breath. This is a learning opportunity. See it as such. After a brief cooling-off period (if necessary), talk with your teen. Remain calm. Problem solving should be the first goal. What can be done to solve the immediate problem that resulted from the bad decision?
Next, deal with what led up to the problem. If it was hanging out with friends who encouraged the bad choice, it's time to cut ties with these friends. Problem solve this, too. Listen to your child, and let him or her make suggestions.
Encourage the Right Kind of Peer Pressure
Do your best to help your teen get into peer groups with positive influences: those who get high grades, compete in sports activities, enjoy similar hobbies and encourage each other to work hard and achieve. Stay in touch, and know what's going on with your child. Get to know your child's friends and their parents. Observe his behavior as well, noting sudden changes in habits. Most important, listen and keep lines of communication open with your teen.
 | Teenage peer pressure can be highly influential with the constant process of making choices and weighing what they have been told by parents, peers, the media, teachers and other sources of information. Any one of these influences can be attractive to a teen. |
 | Peers are a powerful force in the life of a teenager. Whether they know it or not, teens face peer pressure almost constantly. |
What is peer pressure? Any time a teen feels a conflict between what parents and friends expect, peer pressure is the cause. |
Negative peer pressure can lead to long-term emotional and physical problems. Understanding how peer pressure works can help parents and teens find ways to deal with it. |
Parenting is a tough job. Let's face it, you can't watch your kids every hour of every day and you also can't control everything they see and hear. As a kid, I was exposed to many things that a child should not have been exposed to. |
