How To Talk To Your Child About Puberty

Figuring out how to talk to your child about puberty can be a challenge. Once your child hits age eight or nine, you need to start thinking about what you are going to say. It's good to think of this early because guiding a child through puberty is an important job for a parent. Here are some tips for preparing yourself for the discussion.

Emphasize Communication
You need to open the lines of communication and speak directly and honestly with your child. If you express discomfort or embarrassment, your child will think that his or her development is something shameful and won't feel comfortable talking to you. Especially during the teen years, you want your child to turn to you with concerns of a physical, social or emotional nature.

Showing your child that you are honest, reasonable and confident will help your child feel like he or she can communicate with you. When discussing puberty with your child, you will want to let him or her know that changes in the body and emotions during this time are the result of hormone levels, which change when the body is ready. You may also wish to have a discussion about your expectations for their adolescent decision-making.

Know Your Stuff
Review the signs of puberty, including which physical and emotional changes to expect, so you don't need to think back and remember for yourself. Many resources are available at the library and online. Do not just hand your child a book, but, if you decide to use a resource during your discussion, look it over together so you can answer questions. Your child needs to trust you as a reliable source of information. Be one.

Get Over The Willies
If you are uncomfortable saying words such as "breast," "pubic hair," "menstrual cycle" or "erection," get yourself to the point of being able to say them with a straight face. You can practice talking to yourself in the car, imagining that you are talking to your child, or in front of the mirror. You can also honestly tell your child that you feel embarrassed, but you know this discussion is important enough to have regardless. You can also tell your child that it's okay if he or she feels embarrassed talking about private parts, but, since you have important information to share, we'll just acknowledge those feelings and put them aside for now.

Other Things To Know
Try to give your pre-teen the information that is necessary, without giving too much. For instance, it may not be necessary to talk about birth control or sexual behavior at this point, as most pre-teens are not interested in being sexually active. Instead, make the focus of the discussion changes in the body and emotions during puberty and what to expect.