Is Your Teen Daughter Getting Pregnant?

There are two words that no parent of a teenage girl wants to hear: "I'm pregnant." Most parents react in the same way, asking, "How could this happen?" when the warning signs have been apparent all along.

The teen years are filled with thrilling and confusing emotions, peer pressure and a longing to act and be seen as an adult. Teenage girls are faced with difficult choices every day, and they lack the emotional maturity to truly comprehend the consequences of their actions, no matter how mature they may seem to be. That's why it's up to parents to set boundaries and keep their daughters safe from situations where temptation could lead to life-altering complications.

It's Different for Girls and Boys
Both girls and boys have a strong desire to explore themselves and have new experiences during the teen years. Boys are far more likely to act on these impulses than girls, and they'll resort to pressure, intimidation and manipulation to get what they want. For parents of teenage boys, it's essential to teach them to respect women and girls as individuals and to treat them with the same care and honesty they show to their male friends. Boys who can't do this shouldn't be allowed to date until they're older and more mature.

Boys should be taught about the consequences of sexual activity, including pregnancy and the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases. Dangerous myths still circle around schoolyards, including the idea that you can't get someone pregnant if it's your first time or that oral sex can't spread disease. Ask boys what they believe and what they've heard, then set them straight with the facts.

For girls, the pressure to engage in sexual activity usually stems from peers or from a boyfriend. They may fear losing someone they're dating or being cast out of a social circle. Get to know your daughter's friends and talk with your daughter about her attitudes toward dating and sex. Make sure she has friends who will support her when she makes healthy decisions. Ask her what she knows about sex, and dispel any myths she may have heard.

For both boys and girls, explain what birth control is, how to use it and what it can and cannot do. Explain that no form of birth control is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy or preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Removing Temptation
Talking to teens is a good place to start, but parents should also limit the contact that boys and girls have with one another. Avoiding certain situations will keep kids from engaging in risky behavior.

• Don't allow young teens to date. As a good rule of thumb, don't allow one-on-one dating until your child is old enough to drive. Teens who start dating young often want to explore the more intimate aspects of a relationship by the time they reach high school.
• Encourage double and group dates. There's safety in numbers when it comes to teen dating. A group going to a movie or the beach is less likely to get into trouble than two teens heading off by themselves in a car. Having other people around is naturally inhibiting when it comes to intimacy.
• Don't allow dates at other people's houses. Your son should never have a girl over when you're not home. Your daughter should never go to a house party with a date if there are no adults at the house. The combination of teens and an empty house is a recipe for risky behavior.
• Beware of weekend trips. If your teen is invited to spend a weekend with her date and his family, make sure you meet the parents and discuss how the teens will be supervised. Most parents keep a watchful eye on teens in this situation, but you need to be sure that your child and her date won't be on their own in a house for long periods of time.
• Set a strict curfew. There's no reason for teens to be out past 11PM unless they're seeing a late movie. Teen drivers are at a higher risk after dark, when their lack of experience driving combines with a poorer view of the road. Teens who stay out late are often parking or hanging around in secluded areas.
• Meet your teen when she gets home. Be awake and near the door when she arrives. Ask her how her date went, and look for signs of intoxication or emotional distress. If she doesn't want to talk until the next morning, respect her wishes, but plan to have a conversation over breakfast. Simply knowing that you'll be there waiting encourages many girls to avoid risky behaviors.