Teenage relationship problems are par for the course. While every relationship has its issues, during the teenage years the ups and downs seem to be magnified due to raging hormones and inexperience. Yet teens don't always recognize the signs of a troubled relationship until they are too embroiled in the situation to get out or to get out unscathed.
While there are a number of signs that pinpoint a relationship that is either not working or is in danger of falling apart, some signs that point toward a breakup are simple and can be handled easily:
Arguing: Avoid never-ending fights or bickering. Instead, try to reason with your partner, and understand his concerns. Do not belittle his problems. What might be a mole hill to you might be a mountain to your partner. Try to understand where he is coming from, and respect his decisions.
Support And Encouragement: Support your partner in his endeavors. Even if one party does not enjoy or participate in sports, the other party should respect the time and work that their partner puts into the sport in order to do well. Support your partner by attending his sporting events and allowing them the sleep and practice time needed in order to be all he can be in his chosen activity. The same is true of other activities, such as drama, school politics or after-school employment.
Don't Tread On Family and Friends: Never cut down your partner's family or friends. Allow your partner to maintain relationships with his friends and family. At the same time, both parties need to spend time together as a couple. This is not always easy, but can be accomplished with a little work.
Obsessive Behavior: Constantly checking their partner's cell phone and e-mail is a surefire way of causing issues between the two of you, as well as with his family and friends. If you respect your partner's ability to decide whom he speaks with, this issue won't arise. If you cannot deal with certain issues, such as your boyfriend taking calls from her old girlfriend, it's not unreasonable to speak with him about this. If he promises to stop and doesn't, maybe it's time to move on.
Controlling Demeanor: One of the toughest things to learn during teenage dating is that you should have control over your own actions, and your partner should have control over his own actions. When you become a couple, it does not mean that you control the other person's actions, speech, the way he dresses or where he hangs out, whom he hangs out with or the places he chooses to visit. If you have an issue with what your partner does in his spare time, talk to him. If some of these places and/or people are dangerous, voice your concern. If your partner doesn't agree with you, but his behavior is clearly dangerous, tell his parents. It's better to have your partner angry with you than to allow him to get into a situation that can cause bodily harm.
Don't Compare Relationships: Don't bring up an old boyfriend, and don't compare your current relationship to a past relationship. While you can consider the differences and similarities in your own mind, your partner will not be anxious to hear about what a former boyfriend did right and what you're doing wrong. Instead, talk about this issue with your partner in a manner that is not threatening and does not involve an old flame.
Dealing With Someone You Don't Want To Date: If you tell someone that you are not interested in dating him and he doesn't leave you alone, it's time to involve a higher authority, such as a parent or teacher.
Unhappy Relationship: If you're dating someone and you are both unhappy, it's time to end the relationship.
Blind Dates: If your friends set you up on a blind date and you're interested in going out, then go. But if your friends are harassing you about the situation and you don't want to see this boy, don't. The choice is always yours.
Remember, you're dating, not getting married. Teen dating should be fun. Although many relationships started in the teen years end quickly, you want to be able to have fond memories of your experiences.
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