How Important are Chores?
It is extremely important that we teach our children personal responsibility. After all, we want them to understand, fully and completely, that they are an important and productive part of the family system. It is also important from a young age to be accountable for ones' actions and behaviors. Furthermore it is imperative that a child understands if they neglect their responsibilities they will not be done for us.
Teaching Responsibility
The best ways to teach personal responsibility to our children is to help them learn to work, particularly with tasks that help support your family's values. As a Father you should work on this principle when your begin to assign chores to your children. Chores around the house have the advantage of helping get all the things done that are needed to make a house run smoothly, and they also teach accountability and responsibility to all the members of the family.
Research on what Chores Do For Kids
Dr. Martin Rossman at the University of Minnesota has done some important research in this area. Dr. Rossman followed the lives of a group of young adults from their childhood to adulthood, and tried to identify the important determiners of adult success. His research showed that the best predictor of a child's success is that they began helping with household chores at the ages of 3 to 4. These young adults who started learning personal responsibility in their preschool years were less likely to use drugs, were more likely to finish their education on time, and had better quality relationships than the children who started chores later or had no chores at all.
How To Get The Ball Rolling With Chores
Find the right time to start
Several dads recommended that if you are not having children do chores now, it is important to start when they are in a good mood. Schedule a family meeting on a weekend after a great breakfast or on an evening when the kids are home and can be relaxed. Trying to introduce the chore concept when they are already stressed is a recipe for failure.
Start with a master list
Developing a list of all the jobs that are needed to keep your house functioning is a great beginning. Think about daily tasks like meal preparation, dishes, vacuuming, bedroom cleaning, pet care and so forth. Then list the weekly tasks like bathroom cleaning, weed pulling in the garden, mopping the kitchen floor, washing the family car and more. Getting a comprehensive list together may make the discussion overwhelming, but it is important to get the list right the first time.
Be prepared to negotiate
It is important when you share the list in your family meeting to be ready to listen to the children's concerns. Some older children may have jobs or big homework loads. Some jobs may be too big for the smaller ones. One dad I know even suggested giving the list to the kids and having them work together to divide them up-at least the work assignments will be balanced.
Dads Tips On Maintaining Motivation
Be clear about expectations
One creative dad I talked to prepared a "job card" for each chore and put them in a little binder made for index cards. The job card included the expectation ("room cleaned" means the bed is made, all clean clothing is put away, all dirty clothing is in a hamper, and the only things on the floor are furniture) as well as a list of needed supplies, where they are found, and to where they should be returned. This way, if the work doesn't meet your expectations, you can just point to the card.
Help them see progress
For years, our family has used a variety of chore charts to help the kids remember their chores and do them. One of my favorites was one we used during the winter months. We made a snowman for each of the children and put one chore each on the snowballs, the stick arms, the carrot nose, the hat and scarf. Each morning, as they completed the appropriate chore, they put that part of the snowman on the chore chart (Velcro was a great invention!) When the snowman was all done, they would be so excited! Sometimes they would even race to see whose snowman was done first. Using chore charts to help them (and you) see their daily or weekly progress is a good motivation tool.
Have reward systems
I don't think you should bribe children to get chores done. But there should be some reward structure to help motivate them. After all, when they get older and get a job in the real world, they will at least have a paycheck for motivation. Each child will be motivated differently-find what works for them and then do it.
Set the example
One of the best things a dad can do is to set the example of personal responsibility. If you have a regular assignment (clean out the garage, etc.) do it on time and within expectation. Other dads suggest that they try to never complain about their job, their supervisor or their coworkers, so the kids will know and see that they take their own responsibilities seriously. Being a good example goes a long way to making the chore world work well at home.
Remember it takes time
During my earliest years as a dad, I often thought about how much faster I could get something done myself rather than teaching my son or daughter to do it for me. And that is true in the early stages. But later in life, when the kids all know and perform their responsibilities, it gives the whole family more time later-not just more time to work but time to play and have fun together. It's a worthwhile investment of your time to teach personal responsibility through effective household chores.
Chores for Toddelers Ages 2-3
Many toddlers want to help with chores, and while their "helping" may not always be appreciated, keeping their excitement and the habit of helping out alive, should be. Sticker charts are a great way to keep toddlers excited about helping. Their chores may have to be completed with you helping every step of the way, but you are laying the groundwork for children that find chores and helping a way of life. Bottom line is you encouraging them to help out is often more valuable than what they can do. Remember we want them to make an honest effort to help out and be a positive part of their environment.
Chores For Pre-Schoolers Ages 4-5
Chores For Ages 6-8
These school age kids may or may not still have their childlike enthusiasm for completing chores. What they do have, however, is an overwhelming desire to be independent. Parents and caregivers can guide children to become independent in their chores, using chore charts to keep track of their responsibilities both completed and pending. Here are some examples of chores in addition to the ones above for this age group.
Chores for Pre-Teens Ages 8-12
Children in this age are able of taking on additional responsibility especially where household chores are concerned. Develop a chore system that works for your family and be consistent with it. It is imperative that you provide support and input to the children assigned chores. Make sure that you provide rewards and verbal recognition to with your children. Also provide negative consequences for not completing chores. Here are some examples of chores in addition to the ones above for this age group.
Chores for Teenagers
Teenagers are developmentally ready to handle almost any chore in the home. At the same time a teenager's schedule can sometimes become quite hectic, leaving little time for chores. Make sure that the workload of your teenagers is manageable. Here are some examples of chores in addition to the ones above for this age group.
 | Household chores for kids can help encourage responsibility, independence and confidence, build self-esteem and help a child feel like a valuable member of the family. |
 | Family chore charts empower children by showing them the important role they play in maintaining a home. This can make it easier to get those chores done. |
 | A household chore list shows how everyone contributes. Combined with some motivational strategies, a chore list can help to keep your household running smoothly. |
If parents expect kids to pitch in with chores, they instill good values about work and responsibility. In fact, maybe letting your toddler make a sandwich or fold socks is the first building block of a better world. |
A chore chart for kids is a great idea. It helps them to visualize what needs to be done, as well as what their job is. It can also help them to feel like an important contributor to the family. |
