Is Your Daughter Struggling to Be One of the Popular Girls?

The pressure to fit in and become one of the popular girls can be overwhelming for some kids. Many girls feel like the ability to be popular is essential to their success and happiness at school, and they will go to great lengths to achieve Popular Girl status. While we all want our kids to be well-liked and have friends, if you notice your daughter trying too hard to fit in, it may be time to intervene. Keep an eye out for these warning signs that your daughter may be succumbing to peer pressure in an effort to gain acceptance with the popular kids.

• Changes in appearance. Is your daughter suddenly dressing differently? While this can be just typical teenage fashion experimentation, if the change is very sudden or dramatic, it is worth noting.
• Dropping activities she previously loved. If you daughter suddenly wants to drop activities she previously loved, try find out why. Could it be that piano lessons are considered uncool by the popular girls? Remind your daughter that true friends will accept her for who she is, and that includes accepting her favorite activities too. A sudden interest in a particular sport or activity that crowds out once-loved activities could also be a sign of social pressure. 
• Shunning old friends. Has your daughter stopped hanging out with the friends she's had for years? Talk to her about why she's chosen not to include her old friends in her life anymore. While it is normal for friendships to grow and change over time, and for some friendships to end as new ones are formed, make sure that she didn't feel pressured to drop her old friends to be part of the popular crowd.
• Other unusual behaviors. Occasionally, peer pressure can drive your child to try things like smoking, alcohol or drugs. Although your child may know that these things are inappropriate, the desire to fit in can sometimes trump your child's ability to make healthy choices. Obviously, these behaviors are quite serious and require quick intervention to prevent serious consequences. Talk to your child about the dangers involved in these risky behaviors. Make sure she has the self-confidence to say "no," and remind her that true friends will support her decisions, not try to change them. 

You can prevent your daughter from falling into the peer pressure trap of trying too hard to be popular. Make sure she has a healthy sense of herself, and plenty of confidence in her own abilities. Help her to nurture her talents, and encourage her to develop friendships with girls who share similar interests. Most important, stress the importance of being a good friend. Having a few good, healthy lasting friendships is far more beneficial to your daughter's well-being than being a trying to fit into the popular clique.