Do you know how to deal with your child overcoming rejection? Your daughter has started a new grade and she is very excited to meet her new classmates. The first few days seem to go well and then you notice signs that she is unhappy. After speaking with your daughter, you learn that several children have refused her overtures of friendship.
She is feeling left out and is very unhappy. You want to help her regain her courage and overcome her fear of rejection, but how exactly can you do that gently, without causing your daughter to feel like you are pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do?
Step 1
You can work with your daughter to determine the reason for the rejection. In a gentle manner, ask her about her interaction with the other kids.
It could be that she has trouble with the initial contact with children. Perhaps, she was too shy and didn't really speak up in the group. Perhaps she came was perceived as being bossy or a know it all.
Step 2
If you determine that she is lacking in social skills, you can work with her to learn how to say "hello" pleasantly, answer questions with a full sentence, instead of just one word and work on eye contact and smiling. All these steps do wonders for making a person seem friendly and approachable. This helps attract friends.
You can work together on building her conversational skills. Dinner time is a great opportunity to teach the give and take of conversation. You ask a question about her day, she answers and you listen. Then she in turn asks a question about your day and listens. Increasing conversational skills can boost her self-confidence.
Step 3
If shyness was a factor, you can find opportunities for your daughter to interact in a smaller non-threatening situation like a sport or outside activity (art or music) where she will find people with similar interests, making it easier to start conversations.
Friendships seem to develop naturally when people meet over things they like to do such as painting or gymnastics.
Being involved in activity that she is good at and enjoys will boost her self-esteem and give her a chance to rebuild her confidence.
Step 4
If it is a combination of shyness and poor social skills, your daughter could become involved in a program where she works with younger children, as a reading coach or helper.
This will give her the opportunity to interact with children as a teacher or helper, which can be a big boost to her self-esteem. The interaction with the other children will give her confidence in her ability and strength her social skills.
It is a blow to the self-esteem to be rejected, but, with a few confidence-boosting exercises and a few tweaks to her social skills, your daughter will be ready to try again.
 | School popularity is less of an indicator of success than the ability to have healthy social relationships. If your child is struggling to make friends, there are things you can do together to change the situation. |
 | What is it that makes some kids popular and others, well… not? |
 | You can't influence what everyone thinks of you, but there are some personality traits you can develop that will help you learn how to be popular. |
Occasionally, a child may fail at an attempt, or several attempts to make friends, which leads to a fear of rejection. This fear of rejection makes it very hard for them to form and maintain friendships. |
Is your child prepared for dealing with rejection? As much as we want our children to be loved by everyone, there is inevitably going to come a time when our child is socially rejected. This rejection can come from one specific person, or the rejection can come from a clique. |
