Talking to Your Child About Popular Fads

Popular fads can be the bane of your existence. "But everyone else has one!"  parents of tweens and teens hear their kids screm all too often. Whether it's a new iPod or $200 sneakers, it seems there is always something that your kids simply must have. While you don't want your kid to feel like a social outcast, you also don't want to end up bankrupt trying to keep up with all the popular fads. So what's a parent to do?

• Discuss the difference between a "want" and a "need". Make sure that your kids understand that a "need" is something they simply can't live without, such as food, water and shelter. A "want" is something they would like to have, but isn't absolutely necessary. Kids can be tricky on this one. Be sure to reinforce the idea that although clothing is a need, high-end designer clothes are not.
• Help them earn it. If there is something your child wants, but it's a bit out of your budget, consider the idea of having them pay half the cost. Consider giving your child an allowance, or let them earn a little extra money doing special chores around the house. Earning the money on their own gives kids an appreciation for the value of a dollar.
• Explain that there are just some things they can't have. Let them know that even adults have things they want, but can't afford, whether it's a luxury car, a fancy new laptop or a vacation home. Lead by example; sympathize with them about what it feels like to really want something you can't have,. Let them see that life goes on, even without a Mercedes.
• Point out the dangers. Some things may simply be too dangerous for kids to have, like high-powered sports cars or shoes with built-in rollerskates. Let your kids know that you care too much about them to let them have or do something dangerous. As a last resort, tell them they can have the item when they're a couple of years older. The fad will be long forgotten by then. 
• Focus on what's truly important. Talk to your kids about the things in life that truly matter, like friends, family and spending time together. Discuss how people and experiences bring far more joy than things. Make the time to share special times with your kids, playing games, camping or reading together. Show your love by spending time, not money.

Although it may be tempting to tell your child that fitting in with peers doesn't matter, it is important to remember that to them, at least on some level, it does matter. We all want acceptance, and tweens and teens often equate following popular fads with acceptance. Remind your kids that true friends will accept them whether they have an iPod or not.