Stranger Anxiety in Infants

By: Jenney Cheever

Stranger anxiety is a normal part of a child's development. Very young infants don't generally have a preference for who picks them up, and will typically accept unfamiliar people quite readily. But as your baby grows, she will begin to show a preference for the people who care for her most, and will become wary of people she doesn't know, or those whom she doesn't see very often. This wariness of unfamiliar people is known as stranger anxiety.

Signs of Stranger Anxiety
Stranger anxiety generally appears around six to eight months of age, long before you get the chance to teach your kids about the dangers of talking to strangers. The severity of this anxiety can vary greatly from one baby to the next; some babies will just eye strangers suspiciously, while other babies will wail in terror. This can be difficult on parents, particularly when the "stranger" is a grandparent who lives out of town or a babysitter who has come to give mom and dad a break. Fortunately, there are things parents can do to help ease a child through this difficult time.

  • No pressure. Don't push your child to go to someone who makes her uncomfortable. Doing so will only make her more anxious and upset. Remind well-meaning "strangers" that your baby needs a little space and time to get used to new faces. Encourage them to approach baby slowly; if she seems wary, back off until she is ready.
  • Give him time to adjust. Particularly when introducing a new caregiver, be sure to give your baby enough time to feel comfortable. Arrange to spend time with a new caregiver while you are present, so your baby can get used to this new person. If possible, introduce the new babysitter in your own home. Being in familiar territory will make your baby more comfortable, which will make it easier for him to adjust.
  • Talk to friends and relatives. Stranger anxiety can be hard on grandparents and other people who love your baby, but don't see her on a daily basis. Your baby's rejection of their affection may result in some hurt feelings. Remind well-meaning friends and relatives that your baby's shrieks of terror are nothing personal, but merely a normal part of her development.

Stranger anxiety differs greatly for each baby, in both severity and duration. Some particularly outgoing babies may show very little signs of stranger anxiety, while more timid babies may wail uncontrollably at the mere sight of an unfamiliar face. For some babies this phase lasts only a few months, while for others it can last a year or more. Two things are certain, however: stranger anxiety is completely normal, and, like other phases of your baby's development, it will eventually pass.

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