Teaching stranger safety activities to children about the dangers of strangers may seem like an easy task, but don't be fooled. Helping kids, especially young kids, understand the danger can be one of the most confusing lessons you will ever have to teach. To make matters worse, according to national statistics, it's not strangers but the people kids are taught to trust who are most often found guilty of crimes against children.
Teaching your kids how to react to strangers is part of a bigger education that includes learning to tell right from wrong and having the self-confidence to say no to a bad situation. Teaching your child these lessons now will go a long way toward fighting peer pressure down the road.
What Is a Stranger?
Children see their family members and friends talk to many people throughout the day. They see friends getting picked up from daycare or school by their families. Eventually, kids begin to recognize these individuals. They understand that their parents or friends know those people, so kids don't feel a reason to be afraid or even standoffish. They perceive these people to be friends, not strangers.
Until you get to know these people, they're strangers to you and they should be strangers to your child. Teaching your child to know the difference between strangers, friends and acquaintances is imperative. Unfortunately, it can also be very confusing for a child.
Perhaps the best lesson for your child to learn is who you think a stranger is. A child's grandparent, aunt or uncle would not be strangers, but what about your neighbor from two blocks down or a coworker who stops by a few times a year? Teaching stranger danger is never clear cut. You need to be clear about who you do and don't trust with your child, and you need to communicate it clearly.
You want your child to respect adults, go through his day-to-day activities without being frightened, be friendly and make friends as he moves through his world. But most of all, you want your child to be safe. Therefore, you must be the one who decides who is to be trusted and who is a stranger.
Who Is a Stranger?
As a rule of thumb, your child should consider everyone outside of your immediate family a stranger unless you say differently. Your child should never go somewhere with anyone, including relatives, unless you have given specific permission.
The best way to identify people who are friends is to personally introduce your child to them. Present these people as your friends and someone your child can trust. Set clear rules for each person. For example, you may allow your next-door neighbor to pick the kids up after school and bring them home, but you won't allow your neighbor to take your child to an amusement park without your permission. If your child spends a lot of time at a friend's house, set rules about snacks and treats as well.
The goal here is not to frighten your child so that she is constantly worried about who is who in her world, but to make her understand that she simply cannot go somewhere or do something without getting your permission first.
Who to Trust
Teaching your child to trust you is the important lesson. Make sure your child knows that you would never cause him harm or allow him to be in a situation that's dangerous. This will help them feel safe with the choices you make.
Children often make their own decisions about who to trust. Watch them when they are interacting with people. They will often let you know if they don't trust someone through their actions. Sometimes that individual is someone you trust.
Your child could refuse to be with someone simply because he does not like the person. He many not like the way a person smells or talks, or for any number of reasons important to him alone. If your child is uncomfortable in any way with an individual, don't force him to interact with this person. Put your child's feelings first and he will learn to trust you. Put your child's feelings last and he won't trust you.
Recognizing a Lie
Teach your child that anyone who does something and then says, "Don't tell your parents," is not a friend. Give your child the confidence to tell you about anything, regardless of embarrassment, shame or what someone else might have said. Make a point of talking to your child each day about what went on at school or with friends and you'll open the door to healthy communication.
Kids should learn to avoid strange cars that pull over near them. Never stop to give a stranger directions, never accept a gift or a treat offered from a car and never offer to help a stranger look for a lost puppy or kitten. If a child feels threatened, she should scream as loud as she can and run away.
Some strangers will try to impersonate friends to gain the confidence of children. They'll say, "I'm your Dad's friend," or "I work with your mother." This can be very confusing to children, particularly if they've been taught to trust their parent's friends.
To avoid a dangerous situation, teach your child and everyone who you trust to be with him a password. Make it something simple enough for kids to remember but hard for others to guess. When someone unfamiliar offers a ride, have your child ask for the password. If the person doesn't know it, the child should not get in the car.
Stranger Safety Rules for Children
 | If you want to protect your child from exploitation, practice stranger danger games. Role play the following situations with your child. These will teach your child about the various strategies that strangers use to kidnap and exploit children. |
 | Teaching preschool stranger danger will help your child practice safety techniques if he is approached by a stranger. Child safety is more than telling your child "Don't talk to strangers." It includes practicing or role playing rules for staying safe. |
Find out about the shortcomings in stranger danger programs and what you can do to help keep your child safe. |
Stranger anxiety can be tough on parents and on relatives and friends who feel rejected by a baby. Use these strategies to make your baby feel comfortable. |
One of the most important stranger safety facts for parents to know is that assaults and abductions by strangers are rarer than those committed by adults that children know. |
