Since the eyes are the windows into the soul, it follows that holding someone's gaze might help you assess your soul mate potential more than typical date-night chitchat. For those of you who agree, there's a new singles event you may want to attend: eye-gazing parties.
Similar to speed dating, these events pair off single men and women who then spend three minutes sitting across from each other before moving on to the next participant. The difference, though, is that the guests aren't allowed to speak to one another. Instead, they look into each other's eyes to see if sparks will fly.
The first meeting can be very awkward because people aren't used to making so much eye contact with strangers. But by the second or third pairing, everyone's comfortable," says Michael Ellsberg (www.eyegazingparties.com), who began hosting gazing events in December 2005 and who now hosts the free parties about once a month in low-lit, quiet clubs in New York City. Prior to each session, Ellsberg warns participants against staring, which can be perceived as hostile or lusty. Instead, he tells the group to keep a neutral expression and focus on the other person's eyes without feeling pressure to smile or convey anything nonverbally. Following the session, participants chat and exchange contact information if they like-all of which tends to happen pretty easily after all that silent soul-baring.
"Three minutes of gazing is an intense ice-breaker," says Ellsberg. "You're sharing an intimate and unusual experience right off the bat. Afterward, the conversations that take place are a lot more significant." In other words, you'll have a lot more to say than "Here's looking at you, kid."
Freelance writer Matt Schneiderman has been an editor at Stuff, Cargo, and Sync magazines.
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