When you're dealing with barriers to effective communication, it can feel like your conversing with a brick wall. These barriers can have a huge impact on overall communications and really damage the overall conversation. It's vital to break down these barriers if you plan on getting anywhere with your communication.
Listen up
Communicating is not just about what you want to say, but about what others are saying to you. If you don't actively listen, you've already stopped communicating. Truly absorb and reflect on what is being said. Don't dismiss things you don't agree with, analyze and consider them from every point.
The self factor
When someone is constantly talking about "my," "mine" and "me," it puts people on the defensive. Only use these possessive words when you're talking about feelings and opinions. It's always better to say something like, "I feel like you rushed me," instead of "You rushed me." However, phrases such as "my idea," "the car is mine" and "it's all about me," never lead to effective communication.
Assumption-free zone
Effective communication can never take place if someone is busy making assumptions. If you've already decided what a person's reaction will be, you're not communicating with them, you're reacting to your assumptions about them. It's fine to anticipate that someone may become angry or hurt and make plans in accordance with those reactions. But by assuming the reaction, you're already treating the person a certain way before they have a chance to react.
Mind your manners
Poor manners always inhibit the effectiveness of any communication. Once you drop your basic manners, you come off rough and abrasive. This will automatically put people on the defensive. Once someone is on the defensive, she will not listen to what you have to say, they will only react to it.
Get to the point
Skirting around the subject greatly reduces the effectiveness of your communication ability. Be direct and get to the point. When you skirt around a subject, people can become bored, frustrated or confused. They lose interest in what you have to say and let their minds wander.
Be flexible
Acting rigid is terrible in terms of effective communication. You must be flexible about what you say and how you say it to really get a point across. If you're too rigid with your communication, you're at great risk of frustrating people. Always be willing to change your communication tactics to fit the situation.
 | Good communication in relationships can help ward off major problems. If you and your partner listen to each another and work together toward a solution whenever conflicts arise, you can build the base for a stronger relationship. |
 | If the people to whom you are communicating are constantly missing your points, it might be time to freshen up on effective communication skills. |
 | It is important to understand communication styles people use to get their points across. |
 | Communication problems in relationships do more than leave one or both people exasperated in the moment. They can signify a deeper issue and lead to further relationship problems down the road. |
If you're dating a woman, communication styles are something you need to know about. If you can learn to speak her language, you can make a woman feel at ease and truly listen to what she has to say. |
