Understanding Romantic Compatibility

Are you wondering if romantic compatibility exists between you and a prospective partner. What makes two people compatible and do those standards apply to their current relationships? Compatibility can be assessed in many ways, and there are different areas in which people can be compatible. In fact, people can be compatible in some ways and incompatible in others at the same time. The goal is to find a person with the highest percentage of dating compatibility - the most areas in which you two are compatible - to form a successful relationship.

Here are some of the areas in which compatibility can be assessed:

Cultural Compatibility
This means the same religious and cultural background, or similar in attitudes about these things. For example, two people who grew up with different religions, yet ended up agnostics who don't attend religious services could be considered culturally compatible. Likewise, two people who have the same religious background or the same cultural practices have a strong cultural compatibility. Having cultural compatibility means that you have a strong base of things in common, including values and similar experiences. Not having cultural compatibility can mean that one person wants to practice a religion that the other person has no interest in, causing a possible conflict. This could develop into a bigger problem down the road, if the couple gets married and has children, and has to decide how to bring up the children religiously.

Educational Compatibility
Two people who have the same or similar levels of education have educational compatibility. This can also be considered the case if both people are equally intelligent - it isn't always about both parties having attended college. Two people who aren't educationally compatible may end up with one person always feeling "dumber" than the other, and the feeling of inferiority can cause rifts in the relationship.

Social Compatibility
This refers to the outgoing vs. introverted characteristics of the individuals. While two people with different social compatibility levels can be successful together, it requires an acceptance on both people's part of the other's personality traits. Meaning, if one person is very social and outgoing while the other is quiet and rather reserved, one person could want to go out and socialize more, while the other may prefer to stay home with a movie or book. But two people like this could make it work if they are able to compromise and honor the characteristics of the other, allowing them to balance each other. Perhaps the quiet person helps the high energy person find time to relax, while the high energy person helps the homebody person get out more.

Work Ethic Compatibility
People with similar work ethic compatibility believe in the same values regarding work. For instance, both people could believe in working hard and being career driven, or being content with a job and having other interests. Two people with the same work ethic will usually get along better than a couple with opposite work ethics. A problem could develop in this case if one person is a "workaholic" while the other is waiting at home for a chance to see him or her, resenting the lonely time waiting. In these cases, clear communication and compromise must be achieved in order for the relationship to work.

Attitude About Money Compatibility
It's important for both people in the couple to have similar values regarding money. This could be frugal, saving and spending carefully, or free with money to have the best things now. But if one person is frugal and the other a spendthrift, problems will happen.

View on Life Compatibility
Two people are compatible in this category if both have similar levels of overall optimism or happiness. If one person is always seeing the negative side of life, the person who finds hope in everything can feel bogged down. But, the opposite could be true if both individuals honor the other's qualities, such as the pessimist feels better because of the optimist's views, and the optimist is more grounded to reality from being with the pessimist.

Self Esteem Compatibility
A couple has self esteem compatibility if they each feel comfortable with themselves. In fact, this is pretty important in any relationship. If he needs her to make him feel better about himself, the relationship will be co-dependent and unhealthy. If instead, both people feel insecure sometimes and give each other encouragement when they need it, the relationship will be healthier.

Personality Compatibility
This has to do with things like being neat, or being a morning person, a person who is short-tempered, or highly emotional. What's interesting here is that two people who are the same in a strong way-both short tempered or both highly emotional, for instance- will have a hard time getting along with each other. Two people who are strongly opposite, such as one person very neat and the other person sloppy, will also have a hard time. But when two people are less than extreme in their personality quirks, they can be opposites and still balance each other, or be the same and fit together nicely.

Affection Compatibility
This refers to the level in which people are capable of showing affection, giving and receiving compliments, and giving the other person what he or she needs in terms of affection. Some people are very reserved, and just assume that the other person knows how they feel. Others are openly affectionate, showering love and attention on the other. Both people in the relationship have to be comfortable with the level of affection that the other person gives. Otherwise, one person could feel smothered or neglected. This can also include intimacy, although many intimacy compatibility issues can be worked out through honest communication.

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