Beware Insecure Men

Insecure men can wreak havoc in any relationship; recognizing signs of insecurity and then being strong enough to deal with the situation can save wasted years and many tears in the long run.

Insecurity can manifest itself in many ways, but a couple of personality types are the most common and recognizable.

Openly Insecure Men
This type of personality can drain patience and strength from others, especially a girlfriend or life partner. Here are some traits that openly insecure men may exhibit:

• Constantly clamoring for praise and reassurance
• An inability to make decisions
• Inappropriate social behavior and conversation
• Overly polite to the point of annoyance due to fear of offending
• Poor posture to the point of actually walking bent over
• Occasional violent outbursts that are inappropriate in relation to triggers
• Heavy drinking, alcoholism, or drug addiction

Narcissistic Men
This personality type can overwhelm and batter another, causing intense psychic pain and sometimes physical pain, as well. Despite the strong-arm tactics, however, this personality type is often born from an intense sense of insecurity. The narcissism, where the man is focused only on his pleasure and desires, develops to hide that insecurity. Here are some traits that narcissists may exhibit:

• Verbally insulting and abusive
• Physically and/or sexually abusive
• An inability to see or validate another's point of view
• Affections that run hot and cold, depending on the narcissist's mood and needs
• Manipulative

Dealing with Insecure Men
Unfortunately, no one can change and grow unless they desire to themselves. Here are some tactics to try to deal with insecure men:

• Talk openly with the man; point out habits that are annoying, troublesome, or painful, and then give him a chance to speak openly about his feelings, if he is willing.
• If one-on-one communication is not possible, see if he is willing to try couples counseling.
• If he is not, ask him if he will consider individual counseling or therapy.

Sometimes there is nothing to do but walk away from undeniable insecurity or narcissism. Whether it means simply breaking up, or it means a divorce and all of the complications that can bring, be aware that the insecure man must first want to grow for himself and let go of painful habits and old beliefs that no longer serve him.

This is where strength comes in for life partners or those dating insecure men. The trial comes whether the man is willing to help himself in order to save his relationship, or if he is not, then having to make the decision to turn away from his harmful behavior.