It doesn't matter that it's the 21st century, that there are more women running Fortune 500 companies than ever before. When it comes to that first phone call, men have the upper hand.
But does that mean you have to sit around, dreaming up baby names that match perfectly with his last name, hoping your cell phone rings? Of course not! Just because men are usually the ones to do the asking doesn't mean you have to sit and wait. Instead, try these tactics.
1. Forget It
"If I meet a guy on Saturday night, I don't expect him to call Sunday," says Lora Franco, 25. "But then if he doesn't call by Monday night I start to worry." If you're like Lora, this tip will be the hardest. "You should just kind of forget it," says Nancy Slotnick, dating coach and author of Turn Your Cablight On. "Put it out of your mind." Don't start envisioning where he'll take you on your first date, what you'll order and whatever you do, don't buy new shoes for the yet-to-be-determined event. "Keep your hopes high and expectations low," Slotnick says. "You're still hoping he'll call but you're not dwelling on it."
2. Keep Busy
Forgetting is easier if you're otherwise occupied. Says Slotnick, "Have so much going on in your life that a guy does have to work hard to get your attention because you're not just waiting for him to call."
"It's almost worse with cell phones now because even though we're not -sitting at home, waiting for the guy to call,' we're waiting for him to call everywhere we go!" says Jenni Marsh, 28.
But if your calendar is full, your mind will be, too. So now's the time to finally sign up for that kayaking class. "Don't play hard to get," Slotnick suggests. "Be hard to get."
3. Get Moving
Sometimes when we girls get down about a guy we turn to food. But how 'bout instead of going out for ice cream, you go out for a run? Think about it: You'll be distracted, you'll get some endorphins, and you'll look great (which will come in handy for our next tip).
4. Get Out There
Hey, you just met the guy. You don't know if he's going to end up being Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or Mr. Never Again. "In the early stages, women start to trust guys before they've proven themselves," says Slotnick. So instead of building him up in your head and denying all other men, keep your dance card full. A friend wants to set you up? Great. You meet someone at that kayaking class? Fantastic!
5. Make Weekend Plans
No, you don't have to scurry around, trying to book up Friday and Saturday nights-but don't turn down invitations just to stay available in case the guy in question does call. "It's fine with me if a guy who got my number takes a week to call me," says Ellen Barry, 30. "He just can't expect to get a weekend date with me."
6. Don't Over-Analyze
Resist the urge to call your girlfriends and run down the list of reasons why he may not be calling: He lost your number, he misread your number, he got really sick, his grandmother got really sick, he's swamped at work, etc. All are unlikely and usually only lead to one conclusion: He's not interested. Then why, you ask, would he ask for your number in the first place? Who cares? Do you really want to date someone who's not even considerate enough to call?
7. Call Him
Hopefully, you cleverly exchanged numbers rather than just giving him yours. So if you are really hung up on this guy, go ahead and call him and ask him out for coffee. That way, you'll get a definite signal regarding whether or not he's interested. If he was away on business for the last five days and would love to see you now that he's back, bingo. If he takes a few seconds to connect with who you are when you tell him your name and isn't sure if he's free for a drink, well, you've got a different kind of answer on your hands. But at least you know, right?
Now, whatever his reason is for not calling or taking too long to call may be, it's not worth exhausting your energy over it. He's just one guy out of millions. Save your strength. You'll need it for all the activities you've got planned. After all, kayaking is not for the weary.
Elsa K. Simcik is a freelance writer in Atlanta. Her work has appeared in newspapers and magazines including The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Dallas Morning News, Texas Parks and Wildlife Magazine and CNN.com
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