Is it a pickup or a date? You’re out at the bar and a man is giving you oodles of attention. Is he genuinely interested in dating you, or is he on the prowl for a one night stand? You need to read his signs closely to tell the difference between a pickup and a date with a man who’s truly interested in a relationship.

Signs He’s a Player Out for a Pickup
He’s hot; he’s funny. He’s obviously into you. But how do you know if this guy is a player?

• He flirts aggressively with you. Is he fawning over you too much for it to be sincere? Is this guy so into you, it’s blowing your mind? Then watch out. A player will compliment you until you can’t see straight and will play on your need for admiration and approval.
• He makes sexual jokes right away. A guy who’s truly interested in you will tread with caution; he doesn’t want to scare you away by making inappropriate jokes or complimenting you sexually too fast. If the man flirting with you is overly daring in his innuendoes, you can assume he’s testing the waters to see if you’ll be an easy pickup.
• He either talks too much about himself or doesn’t share anything at all. Players take one of two strategies: either they boast and brag, trying to prove they are worth your attention, or they flatter you and don’t reveal much about themselves. A man who’s genuinely interested in you will ask sincere questions and share interesting things about himself.
• He tries to get you to drink a lot. A man who is truly interested in you has no need to try to get you drunk; a man who wants an easy pickup does. Keep this in mind as he offers to buy you one more drink.
• He shows you off to his friends. Don’t be flattered if he’s toting you around like a trophy. He’s treating you like an object, a good indication of how he views you.
• He tries to take you home with him right away. A man who’s truly interested in you is not going to assume you want to get intimate on the first date. He knows he’s got time to build a relationship with you and see if it gets physical or not. A player, on the other hand, wants to get in and out of your pants as fast as he can. Watch out for a man who pressures you to be physical right away; chances are, that’s as far as the relationship will go.

Signs He’s a Player After the First Date
Perhaps you didn’t totally fall for his moves the first night, and now this guy is calling you, asking to go out. How can you tell if he’s truly a nice guy, or if he’s a player with a little persistence?

• He texts or calls sporadically, only when nothing else is going on. Beware of men who call you at the last moment and want to just hang out at his place (or yours). If he calls you on the spur of the moment, chances are you’re a last-minute plan because he couldn’t get tickets to the game. A man who really wants to get to know you will realize you have a life.
• He doesn’t put much effort into making the date special or unique. If his moves feel contrived and practiced, they probably are.
• He either won’t spend money on you or spends an extravagant amount of money on you. A player will either play it too casual, such as taking you to a cheap bar and back to his place, or too extreme. In that case, you might suspect he’s pressuring you into feeling like you “owe” him sex because he spent so much money on you. A man who’s truly interested in you will likely follow the middle path.
• He pushes for physical contact right away. A player will initiate sexual contact right away, and he may be persistent. If you’re looking for fun, that’s okay, but, if you want something more, it’s not. A man who is interested in an actual relationship with you will take into consideration your feelings and limitations and will take his time with you.

Signs That a Pickup Will Turn Into a Real Date|
Just because this guy picked you up because you’re hot doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t fall in love with you. The following are signs this guy has decided you are worth more than a quick night of passion:

• He genuinely wants to get to know who you are. Does he ask a lot of questions? Does he remember your answers and talk to you about topics you care about? Does he work hard to make sure you are comfortable and having a good time? Do you see honest regret if he makes a mistake or says something out of line? If sincerity is the primary vibe you get from this man, he may be interested in something more.
• He’s respectful. A player may joke around with you at your expense or show you off to his friends, but a man who’s truly interested in you is more concerned about how you feel than about how you appear to his friends. He’ll also be patient if you aren’t ready to kiss or be physical yet. A player will push you, even if you tell him you’re not ready for physical contact.
• He calls when he says he will. A man who’s interested in you will call you when he promises and will be eager to go out on his next date with you.
• It’s obvious he put effort into planning the date. Did he remember you like Thai food? Was he on time? Did he take you out even though his favorite basketball team was playing that night? Look for signs that he spent time preparing for his date with you.
• He makes plans with you in advance. A man who is interested in you wants to make sure he books you before someone else does. He knows that if he’s interested in you, other men must be also, and he’ll want to make sure he’s got your Friday night.