How to Escape a Bad Date
When “It’s just one drink” turns into “I would rather have a root canal than another martini with you”, it’s time to devise a plan to ditch your dead-end date—fast. While making a swift departure without coming off as a total jerk is tough, it is possible as long as you’ve got a well-formulated plan, says Yvonne Rice, former dating agency owner and author of Finding “The One”: A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You. “Because most people don’t take rejection well,” she explains, “not putting careful thought into how you’ll exit your bad date runs you the risk of sparking the ‘nasty’ in the date you’re ditching.” For Rice’s suggestions on how to escape a bad date with your reputation—and your date’s dignity—intact, read on.
Spill It
At a bar, coffee shop or restaurant? “Accidentally” spill your entire drink in your lap so you’ll have to leave and get out of your wet clothes. A word of warning here: Make sure whatever you’ve been guzzling isn’t boiling hot. You don’t want Bad Date coming to the emergency room with you because you’ve sustained third-degree burns on your lap.
Claim a Curfew
It worked in high school, and, believe it or not, this evergreen get-out-of-jail-free card still works when you’re an adult. If your date’s going nowhere fast, bow out early with the claim that your roommate, pet or, if you have one, child is expecting you home pronto.
Use a Lifeline
It’s never a bad idea to have a friend text you on your cell phone 30 minutes into your date. If everything’s going great, then fantastic—you can text back that you’ve likely met your future spouse. If not, however, the door’s open for you to make an excellent case for removing yourself from the date. Think “Oh no! My best friend’s car broke down and I have to pick her up!” or “My younger brother’s watching my dog and apparently, Fido just ate an entire bag of his Doritos—bag and all!” Who’s gonna argue with your needing to make a quick departure to remedy situations like those?
Remember That Opposites Don’t Always Attract
If you’re positive there’s no future between you and your date, begin steering your conversation in a direction that’s sure to make that clear to him or her as well. If he reveals a passionate support for John McCain, note that you’ve donated as much as legally allowed to the Obama campaign. She’s a strict vegetarian? Wax poetic about your last birthday dinner—and the amazing porterhouses—at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Once your date realizes the two of you are like oil and water, it should be easy to swiftly end the evening.
Fake an Illness
If you’re itching to extricate yourself from a nightmare of a date, muster up your best Academy Award-winning performance and play sick. Start rubbing your head and referencing your terrible migraines or, for a less subtle approach, start coughing uncontrollably. For a truly fail-safe strategy, rush to the bathroom every five minutes or so. It won’t take long for your date to get the hint that you’re sick, and he or she will probably be happy to see you go.
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