How to Read Body Language on a First Date

By: Victoria Welch

When it comes to a first date, knowing how to read body language is an invaluable resource. If you can pick up on the silent clues being conveyed by your date - and he might not even realize that he's sending them - you can cut down on what is already an incredibly stressful situation. If it's clicking, you can relax and enjoy the process of getting to know someone; if it's not, you can make the best of a situation and not feel surprise if he doesn't ask for a follow-up encounter.

It's On
When a person is attracted to you, there are certain instinctive responses he will make, often without even realizing that he is doing so. More than half of all communication that is exchanged between two people isn't even verbal - it's all being spoken through body language. If your date is attracted to you, you are likely to see at least a few of the following signs:

  • Mirroring: If you are resting your chin on your hand and notice him strike a similar pose, this is an example of mirroring. This human behavior innately conveys that there a common rapport is being established. The result is a feeling of comfort and familiarity, which in turn leads to a stronger bond.
  • Eyebrow raise: This one is quick, but very telling. When you first meet someone to whom you are attracted, a common response is to quickly raise your eyebrows. You might not notice it, but odds are good that you do it! Look to see during that initial meeting whether your date responds in the same way. It's a brief signal, but one that almost always signifies a favorable response.
  • The lean in: If your date is into you, expect to see him try to get closer to you. This doesn't necessarily mean he's going to whisper into your ear or touch the small of your back during an initial meeting, but it does mean that he might subtly lean toward you across the table or, if sitting side by side, turn his body slightly so he is facing you.


Not So Much
It's a rule with which we are raised: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. While a date who is not feeling a spark might not verbally communicate this - primarily out of a sense of courtesy - he probably can't help but give off some body language signs. Among them:

  • Crossed arms: Crossed arms, or legs crossed away from you, often signify the attempt to set up a barrier between you and him. Of course, it's important to keep in mind that there are occasions in which a date might cross his arms just because he's cold.
  • Looking away: If your date does not engage in any eye contact, it is often a sign that he is not interested in establishing a connection.
  • Yawning or otherwise looking bored: Ask for the check. Unless your date was kept up all night working on a big project or rescuing a kitten, this is a sign that it's time to part ways and wish each other luck in the dating world.
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