Dating can be intimidating enough on its own, but speed dating, in which you have to impress a date in a matter of minutes, seems particularly stressful. On the flip side, speed dating means you won't waste your time on dates that go nowhere. If you go into speed dating with a game plan and a positive attitude, you could end up meeting someone you'd like to spend some more time with.
What to Expect
Speed dating is becoming all the rage for people who do not have time to go on long first dates and want to meet as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time. Singles are asked to come to a designated location, which can include a bar, church, rented conference room or a restaurant.
Once everyone arrives, the facilitator or service explains how long people will have for each of their short dates, which are generally four to five minutes. They will also describe how you will rate your date. Some services will give you a pad of paper for taking notes, and others will give you a simple sheet where you can say yes or no to each of the people you meet. After the date, you will give the names of the people you liked to the service you used, and they will pass this on. If the people you like are also interested, they will contact you or vice versa.
Online speed dating options are available for people who can't find the service in their community or nearby. Here, you would chat with a number of people online and see their profiles. If anyone piques your interest, you can then contact the service to tell them so that you can follow up and see if the feeling is mutual.
What to Say
On a date, it can be hard to keep the conversation going, but speed dating makes this a bit easier. You generally have only three to four minutes with each person you meet. Go into this knowing what you want to learn about a person. Ask for background information about a person's job and hobbies, but also throw in a few memorable personality tests, such as "If you could have dinner with one person dead or alive, who would it be, and why?" Also ask a few open-ended questions that will help the conversations flow.
Some people feel as if they have to promote themselves when they are speed dating, but you should remember that you are not a billboard or object for sale. Instead, focus on getting to know the other person, and this will usually be reciprocated.
How to Act
Your body language and appearance are crucial when you decide to speed date because first impressions are everything. You want to give off a confident, positive and engaging presentation. Make sure to sit up straight and smile. Be friendly, but not overeager.
As for dress, speed dating is supposed to be a relaxed atmosphere. However, you don't want to wear a ratty t-shirt or clubbing gear and stilettos. Instead, wear something that you would wear if you were going out with your friends: something casual, attractive and fun.
The easiest way to put the other person at ease is to smile and be interested in what they are saying. Even if you aren't interested, listen and pay attention so the few minutes you spend with that person go by faster. Also make sure to maintain an appropriate amount of eye contact. Careful, though: You don't want to make them uncomfortable by giving them crazy eyes or staring in a strange manner. Be aware of your nervous habits, such as tapping your hands, biting your lip or saying "like" in every sentence.
What to Do If You Like Someone
At the end of the night, you will hear from people who were interested in meeting you. Depending on the service you use, you will either be given their direct e-mail addresses, another chance to meet them or other forms of contact. If you decide to contact any of them, make sure you do it in a friendly and casual manner.For example, if you send an e-mail, make sure it is short, concise and friendly. Say that you enjoyed meeting them and that they made an impression on you in such a short amount of time. Then see if they want to follow up with another date. You do not want to send them a long, drawn-out e-mail that talks about all of your neuroses and relationship issues, as you've only spent five minutes with each person.
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