It's normal to have divorce revenge fantasies from time to time. Who hasn't joked about keying an ex's car or burning his clothes? There are films about this very concept. It's normal to think about doing such things, but there is a line between imagining these things and becoming consumed with revenge. The best divorce advice for moving on after a split is to live your life. The following are clues that your divorce revenge fantasies are becoming a problem.
The biggest sign that your revenge fantasies are getting out of hand is if you focus on them more than you focus on moving on. If you become too obsessed with revenge or thinking about your ex-spouse, then you could keep yourself from moving on. The line between fantasy and reality is thin: if you spend more time on your fantasies than on living your life, this is a major issue.
How long has it been since you and your ex-spouse divorced? If you are dreaming about revenge and it's been more than a year since the end of your marriage, then you have a problem. Different people take different amounts of time to heal from a break-up, but after a certain amount of time, the dreams about revenge and thoughts about the ex should fade with time. If you fantasize about doing harm to your ex or their property about the same amount of time as you did when you first ended your marriage, then it's a major sign that your fantasies are keeping you from moving on.
Lastly, think about whether or not you have come close to acting one of your fantasies out. Even driving past your ex's house late at night to see if he is there is a sign that your fantasies have gone too far. This means you are living in the past and have not moved on. Moving past fantasy and into action means that you have crossed the line and could do harm to yourself or your ex.
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