Sensible Divorce Advice for Women

By: Lisa Bower

It's pop culture's answer to the woman scorned: clean the spouse out. However, divorce isn't always this simple. The best divorce advice for women is to take divorce step by step and to know as much as possible before making decisions about lawyers, what to ask for and other divorce-related decisions.

First up, make sure you choose a lawyer who will listen to you. Don't think that the most expensive lawyer is the best lawyer. Meet with as many lawyers as you can, ask friends and family members for advice and recommendations, and listen to your gut. If you feel more comfortable with one lawyer than another, chances are you should go to the one who makes you feel secure.

Ask questions, without being afraid of looking stupid. Divorce is a complicated matter and you should ask as many questions as you can think of. For example, you will probably need to rewrite your will, and you will need legal advice for that. You will also need to figure out how to divide up your property, which is hardly a simple matter. Find out how long the process will take, what it will cost, and what your options are.

Ask for help and for advice from your friends and family members. You shouldn't have to go through a divorce alone. If you need someone to listen to or to bounce ideas off of, take the time to call or email someone you trust.

Be realistic about this divorce. Divorce is about ending a marriage: It's not about dragging your former spouse's name through the mud or "taking everything he or she has." Think about what a fair settlement would be, one where each of you could move on with your lives. Don't ask for too much and don't ask for too little.

You may have visions of going to court, but settling the divorce quickly will save you time, energy, and lawyer bills. Also, if you have kids, it will allow them to move on faster, as they won't have to worry about custody issues or thinking about the divorce more than they have to.

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