Are you concerned about the cause and effect of divorce? Unfortunately, there are few blanket statements that apply to divorce because marriages break up for so many reasons, resulting in many different scenarios. However, there are a few things you can count on regarding divorce.

Common Causes of Divorce
Unmet Needs
Perhaps the biggest cause of divorce is unmet needs. Because each person’s needs are unique, this can present in many different forms. One woman may divorce because she needs a partner who divides labor responsibilities equally; another woman may divorce because she felt emotionally unfulfilled. One man may divorce because he was sexually frustrated; another man may divorce because he felt unappreciated. In any case, most marriages that fail do so because one or both partner’s needs were not being met often enough for them to feel the relationship was worth saving.

Contempt
When negative feelings override the positive feelings in a relationship, the relationship itself is threatened. If you find yourself dealing with contempt and disrespect, the relationship is on a negative slope.

Infidelity
Once a partner has strayed, it can be difficult to rebuild trust and hope in the relationship. Unfortunately, it can be just as challenging for the straying partner to return emotionally to the betrayed spouse.

Substance Abuse
Once a partner becomes dependent on drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs, responsible behavior necessary for a healthy marriage is put in jeopardy.

Common Effects of Divorce
Both Parties are Poorer
When all the resources have been divided in two and all the lawyer’s fees have been paid out, both parties are usually living lower standards of living than before.

Children Are Impacted
If the marriage was explosive and the children were being negatively affected by the relationship, the divorce may bring needed peace and stability. However, in the majority of marriages, the children find the divorce the most emotionally traumatic experience of their childhoods. How your children will take the divorce will depend on a variety of factors: how old the children are, how bad the family dynamic was before the divorce, how amicably the parents handle the separation and eventual divorce and how much attention both parents give the children as they adjust to the new arrangement. To lessen the effect of divorce on the kids, you should make sure you assure the children that they are not at fault for the divorce, both parents will spend adequate with the children and both parents will be accessible.

Freedom to Start Over
If you felt trapped in your marriage, you may feel tremendous relief at the new start. This can be a great opportunity to begin new relationships with a whole different dynamic or a perfect time to enjoy being alone for a while. Alone does not always mean lonely. If you are having trouble adjusting after your divorce, you may want to join a divorce support group to help you find the positive side of divorce.