Disliked by Your Girlfriend's Friends

Do you sometimes feel you are disliked by your girlfriend's friends? You've tried hard to be sociable, but you still sense a chill in the air. Perhaps you wonder what they've heard about you that would make them dislike you, or what you might be doing wrong.

Yet it might not be you at all. Perhaps they just want your girlfriend to themselves. It could be that they're jealous. She is spending most her free time with you now, and perhaps they miss her. They might even sense a change in her, as she moves away from her long-time pals and towards a more deeply emotional relationship.

She's confiding in you, listening to you, and to a degree, leaving her friends out. None of that is your fault, but you still might get blamed. So you're disliked by your girlfriend's friends, but it's not personal.

Even if it's nothing you've done, though, you can still take steps to improve the situation. First, you can encourage her to spend time with her friends, without you. This gives them the chance to see that their friend is still part of the crowd, that they're not losing her to you.

You can also invite some of her friends to join you and your sweetie at a movie or show from time to time. Having a well-thought-out plan for the evening is a good idea, because you won't have to interact as much, yet they will have a chance to see that you treat your girlfriend, and her friends, with respect and courtesy. You do, don't you?

During your night out, keep the talk about neutral subjects, and leave the undertones at home. If you hear anything that could be taken as a dig, just act as if you didn't catch it. Be friendly, and get to know these people. They have good qualities, or they wouldn't be your girlfriend's friends.

Later, avoid disparaging her friends when you talk to your girlfriend. Without meaning to, she might pass along a casual remark, and it might be misunderstood. Besides, any criticism could make your girlfriend feel like defending her buddies. You do not want her to take their side against you.

You might also consider the way you act around her friends. Do you interrupt? Do you try to dominate the conversation? Do you patronize? Talking down to women might be the worst social sin a modern man can commit.

Bear in mind that you also might be slightly jealous of the group's shared friendship. If you feel left out of the history they share, it might show in your behavior. Get over it.

It's possible that your girlfriend has a friend or two you will never like, or who will never warm to you. In that case, you will still have to find a way to get along, for the sake of your relationship.

After all, your girlfriend is a person with taste and judgment. She proved that when she chose to spend time with you. You need to respect her judgment, and to find the good qualities in her friends. Accept them graciously, and sooner or later they will come to accept you.