Do your girlfriend’s BFFs make you want to go MIA? If her pesky pals are creating a wedge in your relationship, it’s time to step up and do something about it. While pressuring your girlfriend to lose her most trusted confidantes is never a good idea, helping her see the true colors of those toxic to her and your relationship will do you both a favor. For hints on how to handle her difficult girlfriends—and help her say “See ya” to the seriously straining ones, consider the advice of Mary Jo Fay, author of When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong. Below, Fay maps out exactly how you can beat each of her troublemaking girlfriends at their own games.

The Down-in-the-Dumps Friend
Perpetually depressed, she always needs your girlfriend to come to her rescue, taking time away from the two of you.

It’s important to understand that you’re never going to change Down-in-the-Dumps Friend—and neither is your girlfriend, so don’t even bother trying.. Instead, Fay says your best bet is never to buy into her drama, yet not dismiss it either. “Be rather neutral,” she advises. “When she pulls her act with your girlfriend, in your best non-patronizing voice, say, ‘Oh Honey, I’m sorry to hear that Down-in-the-Dumps Friend is down in the dumps again. That must be tough for her, always feeling like the glass is half empty. I’m so glad you’re a ‘glass is half full’ gal and realize that we all make our own choices in life.”

If your girlfriend continues taking off to take care for Down-in-the-Dumps Friend, start making plans to do some fun things you know your girlfriend would enjoy, with friends you know she likes. “When you and your girlfriend get together again, casually mention how much fun you had and how you’d wished she’d been able to join you,” Fay recommends. “After enough times missing out on the good stuff, your girlfriend will likely decide you’re a better bet than Down-in-the-Dumps Friend.” Fay says. If, over time, Down-in-the-Dumps Friend keeps winning out, it might be time to look for a new girlfriend.

The Eager Bachelorette Friend
She’s always trying to get you to set her up with your friends, and you're so not going there.

The best way to cool off Eager Bachelorette Friend? Have a big heart-to-heart with her about how most of your buds are either married, in a relationship, gay or jerks, Fay says. “Point her in a different direction by mentioning that all your friends are telling you they’re meeting great people online,” she advises, “or, if you’re feeling particularly chivalrous, research some singles-heavy groups in your area that you know she’d find interesting, and then casually mention them to her in hopes that she’ll take the bait.” Whatever you do, never waver from your “no matchmaking” position. “Doing so will give Eager Bachelorette Friend hope, and before you know it, she’ll start nagging you incessantly again,” Fay says.

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