Friends whom you are able to confide in are rare. Unfortunately, friendships are fragile, and a friend can do many things that might put a friendship in trouble or, in some cases, even ruin it. When dealing with friendship problems, you need to know how to tell when you should just let it go.
A common problem that can change a friendship in many ways is when one friend betrays the other. A good example of this would be if a friend went behind your back and betrayed you by telling others something that you confided in them. Or, you may become fed up with a friend who is perfect in so many ways but who constantly engages in self-destructive behavior.
Before you make the decision to mend a friendship, there is one very important question that you will want to ask yourself: Will you ever be able to forgive your friend? If you are unable to find it in yourself to forgive someone for their actions in the past, then there is no way that you will ever be able to work toward rebuilding the friendship that you once had with this person.
In some cases, you might not want to mend a friendship with a particular person. If you are simply two different people with entirely different interests, there is a possibility that being friends is no longer an option. When a friend becomes involved with other people or activities that you do not personally approve of, it is unlikely that you will be able to bond with each another the way that you once did. If the idea of remaining friends with this person no longer appeals to you, then you're probably better off just staying away.
When you are sure that you want to stick with a friend, the two of you need to find a way to re-establish your bond. For starters, you will want to try doing some of the things that you used to do together as friends, like going to your favorite pizza place or shopping at the store that you both love.
The main key to re-establishing a bond is finding things that you have in common. However, if the things that you used to do together are the root of the problem, thinking of new things that you have in common may help create a new future for your friendship. For example, you and your friend may have gone out to restaurants together, but your friend is dieting. If that's the case, switch your activity to catching a movie or heading to the museum.
Another important key to bonding with someone that you are trying to mend a friendship with is just getting along. You will probably want to talk about the problems that you have had in the past to find new ways to overcome them in the future. However, it is important to avoid constantly throwing blame at your friend for his or her actions. This will only cause arguments to occur and, ultimately, will end your friendship for good.
Also consider the way you keep in touch. For the next few months, try to meet in person or talk on the phone. Text messages, e-mails and instant messages are fine for brief communication, but they can also lead to misunderstandings. You'll be able to read your friend's reactions and have a better sense of where things are going if you can actually be in the same place as your friend.
Once you have worked out any problems that you may have with one another, it is always important to be careful. While it may seem as though your friendship has been repaired, you will need to keep in mind that there is a reason that it was troubled or damaged in the first place. If your friend betrayed you at some point, there is no telling whether or not it will happen again. Be clear about your expectations, and tell your friend that, if they betray you again, the friendship is over.
It is important to keep in mind that not every friendship can be repaired. Sometimes, you just need to accept the fact that you and your friend are two different people. There are only so many times that you can try to repair a friendship and, unfortunately, not everyone is willing to change.
If you do decide to end it, do so with dignity. Either let the friendship die down quietly, or tell your soon-to-be-former friend that you'd rather not spend time together anymore. Whatever you do, don't go on a gossip spree and talk about your former friend with your current friends or anyone else. You will only make yourself look bad, and it might hurt your chances for finding true friends in the future.
If you are starting to feel as if a friend has turned on you, consider whether jealousy is rearing its ugly head.