Is Your Friend Jealous of You

Spotting a jealous friend is often a hard thing to do, both because the signs can be hard to see and also because most of us do not want to acknowledge a friend of ours feels this way. Being able to tell if a friend is the jealous type will help you know how to act around them and can save what could otherwise be a doomed relationship.

Downplaying Success
One of the first signs of jealousy from a friend may be if they stop being happy for your accomplishments and instead somehow find a way to make those successes seem less exciting. If your friend finds a way to make you less proud of the things you have done, this could be a sign of jealousy.

If this seems to be the case, try to play up her accomplishments when you speak of your own. Friendship is about joy and support. Show her that you are happy for her and are eager to share your own success with her; she in turn will begin to do the same. If you two are going two different paths in life and she is jealous of where you are headed - if you've just been happily married and she is still single - talk about the things you still share in common.

Time Management
If your friend complains about you spending all your time with other people and not making enough time for her, this could also come from a place of jealousy. Explain to her that although you do really care about her, she is not the only important person in your life. It is okay to have friends that you don't share with her, but don't make her feel too excluded.

You can, however, make her feel special. Keep certain things set aside that you share only with her, or perhaps activities that are solely for you to do together. Jealousy stems directly from insecurity, so show her that you still need her in your life and you do make her a priority.

Insults and Insinuations
If a friend begins to insult you or put you down, it could also be jealousy. For instance, if you find a picture of yourself that you like, but your friend says something about how she doesn't think you look that great, it could be her own insecurities coming out.

Don't lash out at her or insult her back. There could be a hidden reason for this behavior - maybe she was recently dumped and is just looking for reassurance that she's not the ugly duckling in your group of friends. Share your confidence with her and especially your confidence in her. If you help her to feel good about herself, she'll probably stop trying to make you feel bad.

Talking Trash
If you hear of your friend talking badly about you behind your back or if you feel she is trying to sabotage your other relationships, these are huge jealousy red flags. Often a friend may do this because she thinks she can make herself look better by putting you down to others.

Though it may be hard, confronting her on her actions is the only way to find an explanation or salvage any friendship. If she lies to you, or her actions continue, you may want to reconsider your trust or reliance on her as a friend. Keep her at a distance and she may realize the wrongs she has done and the need to reform her ways.

Seek a Second Opinion
If you aren't sure your friend is truly jealous, ask the opinion of another mutual friend. She can look at the situation objectively and know for sure the issues that are arising. It may not be that your friend is jealous, but is offering uncensored constructive criticism. Also, remember that your friend is someone who knows you well, and you can let your guard down with. Don't act superior, don't brag and don't gloat. She will be there for you in bad times, as well as your times of triumph.

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