10 Ways to Make Friends

By: Rachel Mork

These 10 ways to make friends work even without making use of the Internet. It can be a daunting task to make friends when you are an adult out on your own; for a while it may feel like you are dating for friends or interviewing people for a position. It's okay to feel that way; it's good to be selective about who you decide will get to have that "friend" status in your life. Try the following tips and you'll find friends in no time.

Take a Class
Perhaps one of the easiest ways to find friends is to take a class where there will be plenty of interaction with other people, doing something that interests you. Check out your community newspaper or Web sites for classes on everything from how to build model airplanes to how to paint with acrylics. The other people taking the class are most likely also there to make friends, so you'll be in fertile friend-making ground.

Join a Team
Like the class environment, a sports team is another way to look for potential friends while taking care of your body. Sports teams of various levels are available for just about any sport you could possibly find interesting. After practice, suggest the group of you go out for a smoothie or a beer so you can get to know each other.

Volunteer
If you are passionate about a cause, you may want to make friends through volunteer venues. Consider the following volunteer opportunities: the local zoo or humane society, a food shelf, a homeless shelter, hospice or at your child's school. While volunteering, you'll meet other like-minded individuals with similar interests.

Attend a Religious Service
Churches and synagogues usually have social groups organized specifically to help their members develop friendships. Check out your local religious organization of your faith and ask what social activities are provided.

Meet Your Children's Parents
If you have children, you have an instant connection with other parents. Initiate conversation with other moms and dads, and invite them in for a cup of coffee during a play date for your child. You'll have lots to talk about since you both have children.

Be Friendly
This may sound obvious, but you'll be surprised how many people don't understand what it means to truly be friendly. You want to come across as warm, approachable and empathetic. This means you may need to smile more than you are comfortable doing, and will need to be affirming in your speech and body language. If people are not responding positively to you, check yourself out in a mirror to make sure you are coming across as warm and kind, not cool and aloof.

Take Care of Your Appearance
Your appearance is the first thing people notice about you, so make sure you are dressed appropriately, are clean and stand up straight. Wear your favorite outfit when you go out friend-hunting; it will boost your confidence.

Take the Initiative
It would be nice if being friendly were enough, but often it is not. You will need to initiate conversation or crack a joke, share openly about yourself, and offer to exchange contact information. While that may feel intimidating, it will get easier the more you practice.

Show Interest in People Around You
One of the biggest turn-offs is someone who talks only about him or herself. Ask questions about the other person, then relate things he or she shares with things in your own life. Make a connection between the two of you.

Put Aside Negativity
No one wants to be friends with a complainer or a back-stabber, so put aside any negative views and show your sunny side. You'll have time for therapeutic vents about bad drivers or politics once the two of you are truly friends.  For now, focus on the positive and getting to know your new friend.

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