How to Deal With an Ex at Work

Wondering how to deal with an ex when you see each other every day in the office? The work environment needs to be professional, but gossip and politics are part of the environment. You might have coworkers trying to give you breakup advice, or telling you what your ex said about you. You might be looking for ways to win back your ex, but the workplace is not the right place for maneuvering that goal into play. You want to keep your job, and be able to deal with the tension of residual hurt feelings, regrets, discomfort and possible retaliation that could occur. It isn't easy. Here are some tips.

Keep It Private
Do not share the details of your relationship or breakup with coworkers. The more you can keep your personal life separate from your work life, the better you'll be able to handle working in the same place. Focus on doing your job, and be professional in the way you relate to your ex. Your ex is a coworker now, not a lover, so treat him or her accordingly. This means nicely, politely and professionally. It may be difficult if your ex is not doing the same, but you will be viewed as managing well if you can do it. Remember that it's likely that your boss knows about your relationship and will be watching to see if you two can continue to work there, or if you need to be let go. Professional detachment will help you.

Move on
Try not to dwell on your ex, as much as that may be difficult. Your ex may flirt with other coworkers or customers, either to get your attention, or to find someone else to date. In either case, you should not allow your ex's actions to affect your judgment. Your ex will move on, and so will you.

Be Professional
Be polite, do your job, and avoid playing games. Do not try to make your ex look bad, and do not try to get your ex's attention by flirting with others for that reason. If you want to get your ex back, work is not the place for making these attempts.

It is hard to get over a breakup when you see the person every day. But, in time, you'll be able to cope if you continue to be professional at work. If you can't manage, if you find yourself distraught and depressed, it might be time to seek another job. But don't jump to that conclusion if you really like your job and it's a good place for your career. Give yourself time to heal and be mature in your interactions.

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