We've all had our hearts broken once or twice, but everybody handles disappointment a little differently. However you process your grief, the key to moving out and moving on is to do so gracefully and with class. Spare yourself any further embarrassment and heartache by doing whatever it takes to not be that crazy ex-girlfriend who comes up in dating horror stories.
In the Immediate Aftermath
Upon being dumped, the first instinct may be to call him repeatedly, drive by his work, house or gym to see if he's there, key his car, burn his place down or whatever it is.
Don't do it. You're upset and not thinking clearly or rationally; these obsessive fantasies, while being totally normal, aren't really good for your mental health or your reputation. Know that there are certain things that you will never understand. Don't drive yourself mad by trying to figure out the why and the how; it's the overanalyzing the situation that is going to make you do things you may regret.
Never Let Him See You Sweat
If the break up was particularly bad, delete his number immediately. Calling or texting him when you're intoxicated might sound cliché and kind of sad when you're sober, but it often happens after a couple of drinks, and you might say things that sound a little crazy, desperate or embarrassing. Don't give yourself the opportunity to look foolish.
You are still going to think about him, of course, but don't let him know that! Men are attracted to women who are independent and live their own lives, so don't give him a reason to believe you're lost without him. You had a life before him, and you should have had your own life when you were with him, so now begin your new life after him.
Think about the reasons why the relationship ended. Did you have to know what he was doing at all times? Did he miss his freedom? If so, don't text him to find out what he's doing or where he is - such behavior is only going to reinforce his decision to end the relationship. If you see him out, don't run over to him, don't look sad and never tell him you miss him.
If you work with him: only speak of things work related and even keep that to a minimum if you can. Don't let him catch you looking at him. Unless things are truly unbearable for you, do not quit your job. Don't let him know if he gets to you that much. You are a successful, healthy, stable woman; don't let him take the best things from you.
He Will Call You Crazy If Given the Chance
Admittedly or not, men are just as big of drama queens as women are. They will take something you did that maybe seemed a little desperate, and blow it way out of proportion to their friends. Don't give a guy any reason to make you look like the crazy one. He will take it and run with it - while it might not be fair, it's true.
Try not to cry in front of him or ever ask "how could you do this to me" of him, while it might be tempting in the moment. Never ever beg. These are the things he will use against you.
If he does really care about you and is sensitive towards you he may call to apologize, or see how you're doing. Take this at face value. If you are still mad, don't yell, scream, cry, or ask if you can get back together. You appreciate his concern whether it's real or not, you're fine, and you're busy, so don't call again.
Things to Completely Avoid if You Don't Want to Be Called Crazy
If you want to avoid the crazy ex label, consider this your checklist of what not to do:
Even though a break-up has you feeling a little crazy on the inside, don't show it on the outside. Think about yourself first and foremost. Maybe you spent so much time trying to make him happy you forgot to do the things you love. Rediscover yourself by avoiding him; your reputation will be intact and he'll have to wonder why he ever let such a smart, beautiful, sane woman go.
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 | Learning how to break up may help you avoid unnecessary pain. |
 | Breaking up isn't easy, but you can cushion the blow for each of you if you figure out when to break up and how to do it most gently. |
 | If a relationship isn't healthy, it should be easy to move on, right? Wrong. For many people, letting go of a bad relationship is a terrifying concept. |
Your ex's friend is cute, sweet and thoughtful. Now that you and your ex are free to see other people, does this mean you can hook up with his buddy? |
