Whether it was love at first sight or a flicker that grew into a flame, you were sure you had found Mr. Right. But as time went by, you started to doubt ... is he right for you or should you kiss him good-bye? If the question of when to break up with someone is keeping you up at night, consider the following questions.
Has he shown signs of abuse?
If he has been either physically or verbally abusive to you, you have every right to have second thoughts about your relationship. No matter how much he apologizes for his outburst and swears this behavior will never happen again, studies have shown that if a man has been abusive once, he will be again and again. Counseling may be an option, but since you are only dating, why take the risk?
You might be flattered by his jealousy and his need to protect you might be endearing, but this kind of abusive personality could become a problem in the long run.
Does he talk about his ex?
Nearly everybody has past relationships, and in conversation he might bring up an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. A passing mention is nothing to worry about, but if the name of an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife keeps popping up, maybe the man you are dating is not ready for a new relationship. He might even be using you to make someone else jealous.
Do you want the same things?
If you are dating with the intent to marry and are engaged and wish to start a family, you should discuss your plans with your boyfriend or fiance. If he has commitment issues, or is willing to marry but is opposed to having children, you may have to rethink your future plans. Are you willing to settle for his wishes? If you are not willing to compromise, then you have to re-evaluate whether your feelings for him are stronger than your desire to have children. It's always a bad idea to move ahead and marry with the thought in the back of your head that "he will change his mind." Chances are, he won't.
Is he a workaholic?
A man who loves his job is a wonderful thing, but a man who loves his job more than you might a problem. If he's frequently late or blows you off because he's still at work, this could present a problem in the long run. If you are a career woman who puts her job before a relationship, you two could be a match made in financial heaven, but if you value family life, you could be heading straight for relationship hell.
What about chemistry?
A successful relationship is as much physical as it is emotional. You two may have the same goals, be able to talk for hours and share the same taste, but if there are no fireworks, you could be missing out on a rewarding and satisfying physical relationship.
In some cases, it might be easy to know when to break up with someone, while in others it may take careful consideration. Although getting advice or a second option from someone you trust can be helpful, ultimately the decision to stay together or to break up should be yours.
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