Guide to Moving in Together

Moving in together involves financial, mental and day-to-day routine changes. The merging of two lives is more than sharing the same bed or cooking for two. Once you've decided that moving in together is best, you have a number of other decisions to make: Where will you move? How will you divide responsibilities? Whose name will be on the lease? Who will receive toilet-scrubbing honors?

There is no right answer for when a couple should think about moving in together. There's a lot to consider, and you and your partner will know what's best for your relationship. Think about the amount of time you have been dating. There's always a period of getting to know each other in a relationship; make sure you know your partner well before making the decision to share an address.

You shouldn't move in together just because you like sleepovers or want to wake up to them. After all, living with someone is more than waking up next to each other. Think about what this decision means. You should want to take your relationship to the next level, not just try to save money on rent. If you have any worries or have seen some red flags or warnings in this relationship, you should delay moving in together until you're comfortable.

Choosing a Home for Two
The first step is finding a place to live. Look for neutral ground. You should avoid having one person to move into the other's home, which can create an unfair arrangement. Even if you have the most wonderful relationship, the home will still belong to the other person, and feelings of possessiveness and disruption can follow. Choosing a new home together is not only a fresh start, but it also provides an equal sense of ownership. In a new place, the two of you can start fresh.

When choosing an apartment or home, make sure that you are both on the lease; this will make it an equal endeavor. Also, if you are hesitant, you might consider signing a short-term lease; this will provide you with an out if things don't end up as you had hoped. You won't have to worry about the fallout in case moving in together doesn't work.

Chores, Romance and Furnishings
Before moving in together, discuss your routines, desires and quirks. Even the most mundane of chores should be discussed. For instance, what hangers do you use? Do you use fabric softener when doing your laundry? What are your pet peeves, and what are you lenient about? This discussion won't stop every tiff or disagreement, but it can make the transition from living alone to living with someone you love that much easier.

Make sure that each of you has a say in how this new space is decorated and arranged. One person's stuff should not dominate any one room. Think about how you would feel if you walked into a room that you had no say in; it wouldn't feel like home. Decorate and organize your new home together; it will not only be a bonding experience, but it will also give you both an equal sense of ownership. Remember to compromise: Even the smallest of things can blow up, and you want to defuse situations that could become points of contention after moving in together. You don't want a break up to begin with a fight over where the television was placed.

When it comes to chores, a couple living together should divvy them fairly. Think about what your individual strengths are and try to craft the delegation of tasks accordingly. If you start to feel that the workload is unequal and that you were better off before, talk about it as soon as possible. The smallest of emotions or thoughts can build to become major problems. Decide who will do the shopping, how grocery and utility costs will be split, who'll do laundry, how the trash will be stored and removed and who's responsible for cleaning. Be flexible-things won't be exactly as they were when you lived alone, but if you can't stand dishes piled up in the sink, make sure your partner knows this.

Moving in Together and Money Management
Considering your finances doesn't have to be a buzz kill. If you plan accordingly (and early on in the move), you can avoid disagreements about your finances. These considerations not only protect a relationship and prevent a night on the couch, but they will also protect an individual's credit history.

Before moving in together, make sure you talk about your finances. Be sure to schedule a specific time to plan your finances. In this meeting, explicitly talk about your spending and saving expectations and your financial goals. Moving in together requires trust and openness; don't skimp on the details.

Once you've discussed your financial history, decide each person's contribution to rent and other household expenses. If you earn about the same, an even split is a logical decision. However, if you or your partner brings home a significantly larger income, you may choose to divide the expenses accordingly. If you or your partner's income changes later on, be sure to reassess your financial decisions. Consider making this agreement official by putting it in writing.

Moving in together brings two lives under one roof, but that doesn't mean it should bring a single bank account. One bad decision by your partner could damage your credit history and, in the event of a breakup, a joint bank account will make things that much more difficult. Keep your money separate. This includes credit cards and investments. A nice compromise, if you feel the need, is to open a joint checking account to which you both contribute money for rent and expenses. You can still keep your individual checking and savings accounts for personal expenses.