Overcoming Fear of Intimacy

Fear of intimacy is more common than people think. After all, there is always the fear that you could confide in someone only for him or her to betray or leave you. Fear of intimacy is an issue not only in marriages and romantic relationships, but also in terms of friendships. Intimacy is the foundation or source of the best friendships and relationships. If you can work past an intimacy problem, you can be sure to have open communication, honesty, loyalty and truly healthy and supportive relationships with the people in your life.

You can't have intimacy with someone if you haven't worked out or dealt with your own issues. For example, if you haven't spoken with your parents in years, it may be time to figure out how to reestablish contact. Intimacy issues often have roots in one's childhood or in traumatic events like sexual assault. Break silences with a therapist, support group or even just by writing about such experiences in a journal so that you can get used to talking about your life. The more skeletons you allow out of the closet, the more room you have to replace them with happy memories with your loved ones.

Communication is a key piece of dealing with couples intimacy issues. You need to be clear about how you are feeling and the reasons behind such emotions. Learning how to verbalize one's feelings is more difficult than you might think. After all, you'll need to be more specific than saying that you're sad. Always try to consider why you feel the way you do and be as specific as possible. The more you share about the inner-workings of your mind, the more intimacy you can build with your loved ones.

Don't lie. Dishonesty will ruin any semblance of intimacy in a relationship. Take the time to be completely open with your friends, family members and spouse. Don't think that you have to say what they want to hear. Lying will do no good. Instead, it will isolate you from your loved ones.

Deal with intimacy issues as soon as possible. This is a problem that can start out small and can fester and intensify with time. The longer you wait to deal with intimacy issues, the harder it will be to overcome them.

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